Step into a life-changing experience with my 28-day Mental Wellness Challenge. Over the next month, we'll guide you through transformative exercises and practical tips to boost your mood, resilience, and overall well-being. Get ready to prioritize your mental health and unlock your fullest potential in just four weeks.

Namaste

28-Day Mental Wellness Challenge

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References

l

Namaste

Hey There,

In today's fast-paced life, it's easy to forget about our mental health. We often get caught up in our daily routines, and before we know it, we're feeling stressed, anxious, and depressed (Walsh, 2011).

That's why I've created a 28-day Mental Wellness Challenge. It's my way of paying forward everything I know about mental health in a fun and easy-to-follow format.

Each day, you'll receive a new challenge that's designed to help you refocus your mental health, build resilience, enhance positive thinking, strengthen relationships, increase self-awareness, promote self-care, and create lasting habits (Simonsick, 1991).

So....... If you're interested in joining me on this journey, simply click on the link below to download the free 28-day mental wellness challenge.

28-Day Mental Wellness Challenge

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NHS This part of the NHS website focuses solely on Mental Health and wellness

Verywell Mind Their mission is to help you prioritize your mental health and find balance and happiness.

The Mental Health Coalition website is a collection of free downloadable mental health resources

Resources

Simonsick, E. M. (1991). Personal health habits and mental health in a national probability sample. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 7(6), 425-437.

Walsh, R. (2011). Lifestyle and mental health. American psychologist, 66(7), 579.

Feeling paranoid can be an unsettling experience, and it's not always clear what steps to take to alleviate those feelings. That's why we've put together a list of 11 things you can do right away to help ease your paranoia and regain a sense of control. From practical tips to mindset shifts, these strategies can support you in feeling more calm and grounded. So if you're feeling paranoid, read on to discover how you can take action and feel better.

Namaste

Understanding Being Paranoid: What It Is

What Does Paranoia Feel Like?

What Triggers Paranoia? Discovering The Root Causes

Effective Ways To Handle Paranoia: Strategies For Coping

Final Thoughts

More More More

References

Namaste

Hey there! It's been a while.

Today, I'd like to talk about paranoia and how we can deal with it....... I've been experiencing it recently due to starting a new counselling role so this blog is just as much for me as it is for everyone else.

We all know starting any new job can be challenging. We feel out of our comfort zones, there's so much new stuff to learn and then there's all the new people we have to get to know and although this isn't always a bad thing It can take a while to settle in and for that while it's gonna take a toll on our mental health.

For me, that means sometimes I don't feel confident, and on those days, that little negative devil on my shoulder has a lot to say and Even though I know it's not true, it's hard to shake it off sometimes.

.......That's why I decided to write this blog. I wanted to share some of the things I've learnt to help me get out of my head...... and I hope that in doing this I might help others who are going through the same thing.

So, let's grab a drink, get comfortable, and chat about how we can keep those irrational thoughts at bay together.

Understanding Being Paranoid: What It Is

What is Paranoia?

Well the research says paranoia is a mental illness where a person experiences intense feelings of suspicion and fear that others are trying to harm them or work against them. (Mirowsky & Ross, 1983). These feelings persist even if there is no real evidence to support them, and the individual is unable to shake the belief that something bad is going to happen. This creates a constant sense of unease and makes it difficult for the person to trust or feel safe around others.

What Does Paranoia Feel Like?

Paranoia is a constant feeling of unease and vigilance, as if you're always waiting for something bad to happen. It's like a nagging sensation that won't go away, even when there's no logical reason for it. You may become suspicious of those closest to you, thinking they might be talking about you or plotting against you, even if there is no evidence to support these thoughts. This can lead to feelings of isolation and mistrust, making it difficult to relax and feel safe. Overall, paranoia can be a distressing and overwhelming experience.

What Triggers Paranoia? Discovering The Root Causes

Paranoia is a mental disorder characterized by irrational beliefs and suspicions of others. The causes of paranoia are complex and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including genetics, environmental factors, and past experiences (Bebbington, McBride, Steel, Kuipers, Radovanoviĉ, Brugha & Freeman, 2013). Some studies suggest that people who have a family history of mental illness may be more likely to develop paranoid thoughts and behaviours.

Other factors that can contribute to paranoia include drug use, traumatic experiences, and exposure to stressful or threatening situations. Additionally, certain medical conditions such as dementia, Alzheimer's disease, and schizophrenia can cause paranoid delusions.

Effective Ways To Handle Paranoia: Strategies For Coping

In this chapter, I have explored various strategies for coping with paranoia. By learning effective mechanisms to deal with it, we can take control of our thoughts and improve our mental well-being. So, I have compiled a list of eleven most effective ways to help deal with paranoia.

Overcome Pessimism

If you tend to think negatively and assume the worst in situations, even when there's no evidence to support it, then it's important to challenge these pessimistic thoughts.

To help you overcome this try the following:

• Assess the likelihood of your pessimistic thought coming true. Is there any evidence to support it, or is it just based on assumptions?

• Consider all possible outcomes of a situation, not just the negative ones. Recognize that there are often multiple possibilities in any given situation.

• Counter each pessimistic thought with two realistic thoughts. For example, if you're worried that people are mocking your shoes, remind yourself that shoes are unlikely to be a constant topic of conversation and that there could be other reasons for people's behaviour.

By challenging your pessimistic thoughts and replacing them with more realistic ones, you'll be able to overcome pessimism and develop a more positive outlook on life.

Stop Obsessing Over Every Little Thing

It can be difficult to stop obsessing, but there are several strategies that can help in reducing obsessive thoughts. One effective approach is practicing mindfulness and staying present in the moment. By focusing on the present, you can redirect your attention away from negative rumination and keep yourself grounded in reality. Engaging in activities that bring you joy or relaxation, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time with loved ones, can also help to distract your mind from paranoid thoughts.

Additionally, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, such as cognitive restructuring and thought challenging, can help you identify and challenge irrational beliefs that underlie your paranoia. Seeking support from a therapist or support group can also provide valuable guidance and encouragement as you work towards managing your paranoid thoughts. Remember, overcoming paranoia is a gradual process, and with persistence and support, it is possible to regain a sense of control and peace of mind.

Confide In A Close Friend

It can be helpful to have someone you trust to talk to about your paranoid feelings. Expressing your worries aloud can provide you with a different perspective and help you realize that some of your fears may not be logical.

When selecting someone to confide in, it's essential to choose a friend who is rational and level-headed. Such a friend can offer examples that challenge your paranoid thoughts and provide reassurance. On the other hand, it's crucial to avoid confiding in someone who may unknowingly encourage your paranoid behavior, as this may worsen your distressing feelings.

Stay Busy

To avoid being paranoid, it's essential to not allow yourself to wallow or spend too much time thinking about what others might be thinking about you. Keeping yourself busy won't necessarily solve your problems, but it will help you channel your energy into more productive activities, such as pursuing your interests and goals.

By dedicating a few hours each week to something you enjoy, whether it's practising yoga or collecting coins, you can reduce your focus on paranoid thoughts and find a positive outlet for your energy.

Put Yourself In Someone Else's Shoes

This exercise can be helpful. If you put yourself in the shoes of the people you are worried about, it can help you realize that many of your fears are unfounded. For instance, imagine you go to a party and tell yourself, "Everyone will probably notice that I'm wearing the same outfit that I wore to that party three weeks ago." But ask yourself, do you even remember what anyone else was wearing at that other party? The chances that you remember what anyone was wearing are very slim.

Similarly, ask yourself what the chances are that all of the people you're worried about are thinking about you as much as you're worried about them thinking about you. Do you spend hours thinking about how much you don't like those other people? Probably not. So take a deep breath, relax, and know that most of the time people are just as self-conscious and worried about themselves as you are.

Stop Caring What Other People Think

If you want to feel more confident in social situations, it's important to stop worrying about what others think of you. Although this can be difficult, you'll find that once you start to believe in yourself and relax in the company of others, the little things you do, say, or wear won't matter to anyone else.

One way to do this is to work on being less self-conscious. Self-conscious people tend to worry about how others perceive them, but this is something that's beyond our control. It's important to recognize that other people have the power to think whatever they want about us, but their opinions don't necessarily reflect reality. Sometimes, people say things that reflect their insecurities. When this happens, it's important to try to shrug it off and not let it affect how we feel about ourselves.

Work On Accepting Yourself Unconditionally

No matter whether you just tripped over a rug or your hair is sticking up, you're still human. All human beings are flawed creatures. Therefore, it's important to embrace your natural quirks and stop thinking that everyone else is perfect except for you. If you need a reality check, you can visit YouTube and watch a few klutzy videos to remind yourself that all humans make mistakes - and sometimes these mistakes can be laughable.

Put Yourself Out There

Many people with paranoia have a fear that they are not liked or appreciated by others, leading them to avoid social settings and spend more time alone at home. However, if you isolate yourself from social interaction, you may only experience negative feelings and not the positive aspects of socializing. It's important to set a goal of getting out of the house and spending time with people at least once or twice a week.

As you spend more time with others, you'll become more comfortable around them, and your fear of being disliked or rejected will lessen.

Take Note Of All The Kindness Around You

After spending time with a group of friends, talking to a neighbor on your street, or just having a conversation with the checkout attendant at your local grocery store, it's important to focus on the positive aspects of those interactions. At the end of each day or week, take some time to write down all the good things that happened during those interactions, the positive emotions they brought, and the ways they benefited your life.

If you ever feel paranoid, refer to your list. Reminding yourself of all the concrete reasons why you should have more faith in others' intentions can help ease your paranoid thoughts.

Learn To Accept Criticism

It's important to remember that constructive criticism can be incredibly helpful in your personal and professional growth. If someone offers you feedback, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and improve instead of assuming that the person has a personal vendetta against you. For instance, if you receive a poor grade on an essay, take a look at the feedback your teacher gave you and try to see if there's any validity to it. Perhaps there are areas where you can improve your writing skills or structure your arguments more effectively.

However, it's also important to remember that not all criticism will be constructive or helpful. If someone makes a hurtful comment, it's natural to feel upset or angry, but it's up to you how to receive it. You can choose to dwell on it and let it affect your self-esteem or see it as an opportunity to refine yourself. One way to do this is to write down the critical comment and ponder its validity. If there is even a slight chance that the criticism is warranted, then you need to think hard about whether it's an aspect of yourself you want to change or whether you are willing to stay the same.

It's important to remember that not everyone you meet will be kind or friendly towards you. Sadly, there are people in the world who are rude, thoughtless or unhappy, and you may have to interact with them at times. However, it's essential to understand that their behavior is a reflection of their own insecurities and personal problems, and not a result of anything you may have done. Nevertheless, don't let this discourage you from socializing and meeting new people. Instead, focus on the positive relationships you have in your life and appreciate them even more.

Lastly, it's essential to recognize that not everyone is focused on you all the time. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone is staring at you or judging you, but the truth is that most people are preoccupied with their own lives and concerns.

When you enter a room or attend an event, everyone is unlikely to pay attention to you. So, try not to let ego-driven paranoia get the best of you and remember that it takes all kinds of people to make the world.

Combat Paranoia On The Job

Combatting workplace paranoia is crucial to maintain a healthy work environment. It is common for employees to fear that they might lose their jobs or that their boss has negative feelings towards them. If you find yourself in this situation, take a moment to assess whether there is any evidence supporting the idea of losing your job. Evaluate whether you consistently arrive on time, fulfil your hours, and show improvement. If there have been no indications of potential dismissal, and your colleagues are not regularly terminated, your worries are likely unfounded.

To boost your confidence, begin documenting your positive contributions at work. List your accomplishments and accolades to remind yourself of your value to the organization. Similarly, keep a record of any compliments or positive feedback from your boss. This exercise will emphasize your strengths and achievements, motivating you to continue excelling in your role. Remember, focusing on positive feedback is far more beneficial than dwelling on negative feedback.

Final Thoughts

It's okay to feel overwhelmed and worried. Take care of your mental health, especially during tough times.

You're not alone, and there are ways to manage paranoia, like talking to someone you trust, getting professional help, or practising self-care. By doing small things daily, you can control your thoughts and feel better.

If you've made it this far thanks for sticking with me and if you get something out of this that's even better.

Until next time x

More More More

Psyche This blog features exercises that help calm the mind

Paranoid Thoughts is all about scientific research on paranoia and why some people suffer so much from it

References

Mirowsky, J., & Ross, C. E. (1983). Paranoia and the structure of powerlessness. American Sociological Review, 228-239.

Bebbington, P. E., McBride, O., Steel, C., Kuipers, E., Radovanoviĉ, M., Brugha, T., ... & Freeman, D. (2013). The structure of paranoia in the general population. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 202(6), 419-427.

Garety, P. A., Ward, T., & Rus-Calafell, M. (2020). Beyond Belief—New Approaches to the Treatment of Paranoia. In A Clinical Introduction to Psychosis (pp. 591-613). Academic Press.

Welcome to "From Anxiety to Zen: 26 Proven Mental Health Coping Strategies for a Happier Life (Part 2)". In this comprehensive guide, we embark on a transformative journey through the alphabet, exploring a diverse array of strategies designed to empower you on your quest for mental well-being.

Namaste

From Anxiety To Zen: 26 Proven Mental Health Coping Strategies For A Happier Life

Final Thoughts

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References

Namaste

Life often feels like a maze of confusion and chaos, doesn't it?

There have been moments (more than I would like to admit) when I've felt utterly lost, unsure of how to move forward..... grasping at solutions like a frantic bird without its head.

These times of uncertainty and confusion make me reflect on how different things might have been if I had the knowledge I possess now because, despite the challenges I've faced, I've come to understand the importance of acquiring the skills to navigate life's bumps and hurdles...... And what's the most significant lesson I've learned? (Carver, Scheier & Weintraub, 1989)

In this blog, I have created an A to Z guide that outlines daily practices we can all adopt to navigate life's challenges and achieve fulfilment and happiness. Join me on this journey of discovery and growth towards a better life (Ostrom, 2009).

From Anxiety To Zen: 26 Proven Mental Health Coping Strategies For A Happier Life (Part 2)

Acceptance Mastery

Acceptance goes beyond acknowledging imperfections; it's about embracing your uniqueness. By recognizing and appreciating your true self, you build resilience against negative self-talk. Self-acceptance lays the groundwork for a positive self-image, fostering mental well-being and preventing the onset of anxiety and depression.

Breathe

Deep breathing serves as a mindful anchor in turbulent moments. By consciously inhaling and exhaling, you activate the body's relaxation response, calming the nervous system. This intentional act of breathing not only reduces stress but also fosters a sense of centeredness, allowing you to navigate challenges with greater clarity and composure.

Connectivity Blueprint: Building Meaningful Relationships for Mental Health

Human connections are fundamental to our emotional and mental health. Meaningful relationships provide a support system, offering love, understanding, and shared experiences. Actively engaging with others, be it family, friends, or community, nurtures a sense of belonging, contributing significantly to emotional resilience and overall well-being.

Disconnect

In the era of constant connectivity, intentional disconnection is a vital form of self-care. Taking breaks from technology and social media allows for mental recharge. By setting boundaries and creating digital-free zones, you create space for reflection, creativity, and genuine connections, ultimately reducing stress and enhancing overall mental health.

Exercise Enlightenment: Optimize Mental Health Through Regular Activity

Beyond its physical benefits, exercise is a potent ally for mental well-being. Regular physical activity releases endorphins, the body's natural mood enhancers. It acts as a powerful stress reducer, alleviating symptoms of anxiety and depression. Choosing an exercise you enjoy not only boosts mood but also contributes to an enhanced sense of overall well-being.

Focus On The Present

Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present without judgment, is a transformative approach to mental health. By incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine through activities like meditation or mindful breathing, you cultivate awareness. This heightened awareness helps reduce stress, anxiety, and negative self-talk, promoting a state of mental clarity and well-being.

Gratitude Journaling

Gratitude journaling is a deliberate act of focusing on the positive aspects of life. Regularly acknowledging and recording moments of thankfulness shifts your mindset towards optimism. This practice not only cultivates a sense of contentment but also serves as a valuable reminder of the abundance of positive elements in your life, acting as a buffer against stress.

Helping Hands: Boosting Mental Health Through Acts Of Kindness

Acts of kindness have a profound impact on mental well-being. Helping others fosters a sense of purpose, elevates self-esteem, and strengthens social connections. Whether through volunteering, supporting a friend, or simple acts of kindness, contributing to the well-being of others is a reciprocal and enriching experience for your mental health.

Indulge In Self-Care

Self-care is a deliberate and essential investment in your mental well-being. Engaging in activities that bring joy, relaxation, and a sense of fulfilment contributes to emotional resilience. By prioritizing self-care, you send a powerful message to yourself: that your mental health is a priority, deserving attention and care.

Jolt Of Joy

Embrace the simple pleasures and bring a jolt of joy to your routine. Incorporate activities or moments that instantly uplift your spirits, adding a burst of positivity to your daily life.

Knowledge Is Power: Lifelong Learning For Mental Agility

Lifelong learning stimulates mental agility and resilience. Engaging in new activities, acquiring new skills, or pursuing knowledge keeps your mind active and prevents stagnation. The sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that comes with learning contributes to positive mental well-being.

Laughing: Elevate Mood And Reduce Stress With Humor

Laughter is a natural antidote to stress. It triggers the release of endorphins, the body's feel-good chemicals, promoting an immediate boost in mood. Surrounding yourself with humour, whether through socializing with funny friends or engaging in activities that bring joy, is a simple yet effective strategy for maintaining positive mental health.

Meditate

Meditation is a mindfulness practice that offers profound benefits for mental well-being. By dedicating time to quiet reflection, focusing on the breath, or practising guided meditation, you cultivate a mental state characterized by reduced stress, enhanced focus, and emotional balance. Meditation is a powerful tool for promoting overall mental wellness.

Nourish Your Body

The connection between physical and mental health is undeniable. A balanced, nutritious diet provides the fuel necessary for optimal brain function and emotional well-being. Nutrient-rich foods, such as whole grains, fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats, contribute not only to physical vitality but also to sustained mental energy and mood stability.

Optimizing Your Space: Crafting A Positive Environment For Well-Being

Your surroundings play a crucial role in shaping your mental well-being. Creating a positive and supportive environment involves surrounding yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, incorporating elements that bring joy, and eliminating or minimizing sources of negativity. By optimizing your environment, you set the stage for mental wellness.

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are a practice of intentional and positive self-talk. By regularly affirming your strengths, values, and potential, you cultivate a positive mindset. These affirmations act as building blocks for self-confidence, fostering a resilient and optimistic outlook on life.

Quiet Your Mind

Amidst the noise of daily life, finding moments of quiet is crucial for mental health. Whether through meditation, nature walks, or intentional breaks, creating pockets of tranquillity allows your mind to reset and rejuvenate, enhancing overall mental clarity and well-being.

Resilience Roadmap: Building Mental Strength In The Face Of Challenges

Building resilience involves viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. Cultivating a mindset that perceives setbacks as temporary and surmountable empowers you to bounce back stronger. Resilience is a key factor in navigating life's uncertainties with grace and adaptability.

Stop And Shake It Off

In moments of heightened stress, this strategy invites a physical and mental reset. Pausing to shake off tension literally releases built-up stress from your body. This simple yet effective movement interrupts the cycle of anxious thoughts, providing immediate relief and restoring a sense of calm.

Thought Reframing

Thought reframing involves consciously challenging and changing negative thoughts into positive and constructive ones. By altering your perspective, you reshape your interpretation of situations, reducing stress and fostering a more optimistic outlook. Thought reframing is a powerful cognitive tool for promoting resilience and positive mental well-being.

Understanding Emotions: Navigating Life With Emotional Intelligence

Emotions are an integral part of the human experience. Understanding and acknowledging your emotions, both positive and negative, is crucial for mental health. Rather than suppressing or ignoring them, learning to recognize and process emotions in a healthy way contributes to emotional intelligence and overall well-being.

Visualize

Visualization is a powerful mental tool that involves creating vivid mental images. By visualizing success, positive outcomes, and your desired future self, you activate the brain's capacity to manifest goals. Visualization serves as a motivational technique, helping you stay focused, overcome obstacles, and maintain a positive mindset throughout your journey.

Write Your Way To Wellness

Writing serves as an expressive outlet for thoughts and emotions. Whether through journaling, jotting down goals, or reflecting on daily experiences, writing helps process complex feelings. It's a therapeutic practice that fosters self-awareness, providing a tangible record of your aspirations, challenges, and growth.

Xpressing Creativity: Stress Relief Through Exploring Your Creative Side

Engaging in creative activities unleashes self-expression and offers a unique channel for stress relief. Whether it's painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument, creative endeavours provide a cathartic release. Exploring creativity fosters a sense of accomplishment and joy, contributing positively to mental well-being.

Yearn For Growth

The innate desire for personal growth propels you forward in life. Embracing change and setting challenging goals ensures a continuous journey of self-improvement. This yearning for growth keeps you motivated, engaged, and excited about the possibilities, contributing to a sense of purpose and fulfilment.

Zone Out With Music

Music acts as a powerful emotional anchor. Zoning out with music provides a personalized escape, offering a momentary reprieve from stress. Whether through calming melodies or uplifting beats, music has the ability to shift your focus, elevate your mood, and create a serene mental space.

Final Thoughts

I firmly believe that even the smallest changes can make a significant impact so if you're wondering where to start..... Choose the coping strategies that are easy for you to incorporate into your daily life, and gradually build from there..... It'll give you the confidence and motivation to go for the rest (Kim & Duda, 2003). 

I truly hope that the insights shared in this blog have been beneficial to you, and if they have helped you regain control over your life, then I consider it a win.

Bye for now x

More More More

"HealthyPlace" This blog features articles on various mental health topics, including coping strategies and personal stories from those living with mental illness.

"The Mighty" is one of my favourite mental health blogs offering endless amounts of resources focusing on mental health.

"The National Alliance on Mental Illness" offers a blog with articles on various mental health topics, including coping strategies for those living with mental illness.

References

Carver, C. S., Scheier, M. F., & Weintraub, J. K. (1989). Assessing coping strategies: a theoretically based approach. Journal of personality and social psychology, 56(2), 267.

Wechsler, B. (1995). Coping and coping strategies: a behavioural view. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 43(2), 123-134.

Kim, M. S., & Duda, J. L. (2003). The coping process: Cognitive appraisals of stress, coping strategies, and coping effectiveness. The sport psychologist, 17(4), 406-425.

Ostrom, E. (2009). Building trust to solve commons dilemmas: Taking small steps to test an evolving theory of collective action (pp. 207-228). Springer Berlin Heidelberg.

Embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery with our latest blog, "Discover Your True Self: 67 Soul-Stirring Questions." In a world brimming with constant noise and distractions, finding moments of introspection is a rare gift we give ourselves. This thought-provoking compilation of 67 questions delves deep into the realms of your thoughts, emotions, and aspirations, guiding you towards the core of your authentic self

• Namaste

• 67 Soul-Stirring Questions

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

With Christmas around the corner and the New Year on the horizon, the whole "New Year, New Me" chatter has started buzzing..... But let's face it, many of those plans will fizzle out soon after the New Year kicks in (Kidder, 1995)

Why though?

In my head, it's because we start in the wrong place because Genuine and lasting change begins from within, with a healthy dose of self-reflection (Smith, 2002)

When we organize our thoughts, it helps us see who we are and understand how we work. This clarity gives us the power to make meaningful changes, laying the groundwork for personal growth and positive transformations.

Studies even throw in some numbers to back it up, suggesting that dedicating just 15 minutes to reflecting on our day can make us 23% better at things and 43% happier (Grant, Franklin & Langford, 2002)

So in the spirit of the approaching new year, here are 67 questions to ask yourself.... Grab a pen, find a cosy corner, and see if you surprise yourself with the answers.

Discover Your True Self: 67 Soul-Stirring Questions

• What matters most to me, and do the things I do reflect my values, passions, and priorities?

• How am I using my strengths to lead a satisfying life and contribute positively to my community?

• What does success look like for me, and am I actively working towards my short-term and long-term goals?

• How do I take care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally?

• Am I good at communicating and listening in my relationships, and do I address issues when needed?

• When facing criticism or needing to forgive, how do I handle tough situations, and how resilient am I?

• What are my beliefs about money, and how do I manage my finances for financial well-being?

• How do I view and manage my time, and am I making smart choices about how I spend it?

• What habits help me be productive, and what habits might be getting in the way of my effectiveness?

• Am I making healthy lifestyle choices, including nutrition, exercise, and overall self-care?

• How do I handle the fear of not succeeding, and what have I learned from past mistakes?

• Am I open to trying new things, and what fears or challenges may be holding me back?

• How do I define bravery and courage, and do I express gratitude for positive aspects of my life?

• What is most important to me, and am I aligning my actions with my core values and priorities?

• How am I using my strengths and skills, and how can I enhance and make the most of them?

• What aspects of myself do I want to work on for personal growth and development?

• How do I define success, and what steps am I taking to achieve short-term and long-term goals?

• Do I experience fear or anxiety about not succeeding, and how can I overcome these fears?

• What small goals do I want to achieve soon, and how can I accomplish them?

• Am I actively working toward long-term aspirations and dreams?

• What excites and impassions me, and am I dedicating time to activities that bring me joy?

• How do I navigate tough times, and what coping mechanisms help me overcome challenges?

• Am I actively taking care of my well-being, and what specific actions do I undertake to ensure I am okay physically, mentally, and emotionally?

• How do I express self-love, especially during challenging times, and how do I show kindness to myself?

• What brings happiness to my life, and what activities contribute to my overall sense of joy and contentment?

• How important is gratitude in my life, and do I regularly reflect on and express gratitude for positive aspects?

• Do I cultivate positive relationships, and are the people in my life generally positive and supportive?

• Are there relationships that make me feel negatively, and do I need to address these concerns?

• How effectively do I communicate with others, and am I a good listener during conversations?

• When faced with criticism, how do I respond, and what strategies do I use to handle feedback?

• In terms of forgiveness, is it easy for me to let go of negative feelings, or do I tend to hold onto grievances?

• How do I navigate and feel about changes in my life—do I embrace them or find them uncomfortable?

• What are my beliefs and thoughts about money, and how do I manage my finances, including budgeting?

• How do I perceive and value time, and am I making conscious choices about how I spend my time?

• Do I set clear limits with people in my life, and am I assertive in communicating when boundaries are crossed?

• What strategies or habits contribute to my productivity, and what habits hinder my ability to get things done?

• In terms of health, am I making healthy choices in my lifestyle, including diet, exercise, and overall well-being?

• How do I handle the fear of not doing well at something, and what lessons have I learned from past mistakes?

• Am I open to trying new things, and how do I approach and embrace novel experiences in various aspects of my life?

• How do I feel about engaging in activities I've never done before, and am I open to exploring new experiences?

• What specific fears or concerns prevent me from trying new things, and how can I address or overcome these fears?

• In defining bravery and courage, how do I personally perceive and embody these qualities in my actions and decisions?

• Do I take moments to appreciate and express gratitude for the positive aspects of my life, and how does this practice contribute to my overall well-being?

• What role does spirituality play in my life, and how does my faith or belief system influence my daily living?

• In navigating conflicts, am I true to myself, and do I act in alignment with my values and principles?

• How do I approach and handle disagreements with others, and what strategies do I use to resolve conflicts?

• What challenges do I face when communicating with others, and how can I overcome obstacles to engage in more open and meaningful conversations?

• Am I consistent in keeping promises and doing what I say I'll do, and how does this contribute to building trust in my relationships?

• How do I define honesty and truthfulness, and how do I handle situations when things don't go as planned?

• In terms of my job or career, what are my goals, and am I satisfied and happy with my current professional path?

• How do I respond when things are going well, and what keeps me motivated during challenging times?

• How would I describe the purpose of my life, and do I feel that I am living a life with meaning and significance?

• Do I sense a clear purpose in my life, and what steps can I take to further define and enhance that sense of purpose?

• What legacy do I aspire to leave behind, and how can I actively work towards creating a positive impact for future generations?

• In considering how I want to be remembered, what specific qualities or contributions do I want people to associate with me?

• How do I contribute to the betterment of my community, and what actions can I take to make a positive difference in the lives of those around me?

• Am I enthusiastic about learning new things, and do I actively seek opportunities to expand my knowledge and skills?

• How do I cope with feelings of uncertainty or self-doubt, and what strategies can I employ to build confidence in challenging situations?

• Do I openly express my emotions and feelings, and am I comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities with others?

• What resilience strategies do I employ during tough times, and what qualities or practices make me strong in the face of adversity?

• How do I react when positive events occur in my life, and how can I amplify and share those moments of joy?

• What role does humour play in my life, and how do I prioritize laughter and lightheartedness in my daily experiences?

• How do I define a meaningful life, and what specific aspects or activities give my life purpose and significance?

• Am I conscious of my environmental impact, and do I consider how my actions contribute to the well-being of the world around me?

• What does success look like in my relationships, and how do I cultivate positive and meaningful connections with others?

• Am I holding onto past mistakes, and are there aspects of my history that I need to forgive and let go of for my own well-being?

• How do I define inner peace, and what steps can I take to cultivate a sense of calm and tranquillity within myself?

Final Thoughts

What did you say? Were you surprised?

These questions help me stay in touch with myself and stay responsible.

Remember It's not about being right or wrong; it's about learning about yourself.....So, be kind to yourself when you're doing well, and be honest with yourself when you need a reality check.

Merry Christmas everyone x

More More More

Live Bold and Bloom: Live Bold and Bloom is a blog that focuses on personal growth, self-improvement, and mindful living. The content includes articles on self-reflection, self-discovery, and finding purpose.

Marc and Angel Hack Life: Marc and Angel Chernoff share practical wisdom and insights for personal growth and happiness on their blog. Their articles cover various topics such as relationships, self-reflection, and life skills.

Tiny Buddha: Tiny Buddha is a website that focuses on personal development, mindfulness, and self-reflection. It offers a variety of articles, stories, and inspirational quotes from contributors worldwide.

References

Kidder, R. M. (1995). How good people make tough choices. New York: Morrow

Gillespie, A. (2007). The social basis of self-reflection

Grant, A. M., Franklin, J., & Langford, P. (2002). The self-reflection and insight scale: A new measure of private self-consciousness. Social Behavior and Personality: an international journal, 30(8), 821-835

Smith, R. (2002). Self-reflection and the self. Rewriting the Self: Histories from the Renaissance to the Present, 49-57

If you've ever found yourself questioning your own memory or perception in a personal or professional relationship, you may have experienced gaslighting. It's a manipulative tactic that can leave you feeling confused and isolated. In this blog post, we'll dive into what gaslighting is, how to identify it, and most importantly, how to overcome it. Whether you are currently dealing with gaslighting or want to be better prepared for the future, this post will give you the tools and knowledge you need to protect your mental health. Get ready for Gaslighting 101

• Namaste

• What Is Gaslighting?

• Gaslighting Examples And Patterns

• Preventing Gaslighting: The Top 10 Things You Need To Know

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

"Words and truth – are they even a thing anymore?

I found myself pondering this as I tuned into News Night last week. There was this conservative guy desperately trying to convince everyone that his party was blameless for the country's mess...... He swears it's all Labour's fault.

His most convincing arguments included -

As I watched, it became clear that they'd stopped trying altogether. In the past, they would at least make an effort to tell a convincing lie....... Now, it feels like we're witnessing the most blatant attempt at gaslighting the political arena has ever seen.

Since I frequently discuss gaslighting with my clients, I decided I would share what I know about it subject so In this blog, we'll delve into the world of this manipulation technique. We'll explore what gaslighting is, its impact, and strategies for prevention........... So, if this topic piques your interest, you're in the right place!

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and abuse where the perpetrator consistently undermines their partner's perceptions, memory, judgement, and even sanity.

Their goal is to gain power and control over the other person through a pattern of controlling behaviour (Hightower, 2017). While it mainly occurs within relationships, it can also happen between friends, coworkers, and even within families.

Unlike a typical relationship disagreement, gaslighting involves continual denial and criticism of the other person's perception of reality. The victim may be told that their perceptions, experiences, or feelings are wrong, irrational, or imagined. The perpetrator may even go as far as to convince the victim that they are the cause of problems in the relationship.

Over time, this emotional manipulation can lead to confusion, self-doubt, anxiety, and depression. The victim may start to question their own thoughts and reactions, ultimately losing confidence in themselves.

Gaslighting Examples And Patterns

Gaslighting can affect anyone, regardless of their background or the setting in which it occurs—whether in relationships, among friends, or within the workplace. What's consistent in these situations is the presence of an imbalance of power, where one person holds more control over the other, a fundamental element in the dynamics of gaslighting.

From personal experiences, I've come to realize that gaslighting is exceptionally challenging to detect. Its absurdity can make us question our own sanity, leaving us wondering if there's any truth to the manipulation. This is the first stage in gaslighting.... the subtle introduction of an idea or thought that makes us question ourselves.

The next stage is when we start to defend ourselves. In those conversations, the person starts to deflect and shift the blame onto us reinforcing the idea that we are to blame. Their responses will always revolve around how we are too erratic, emotional or paranoid.... slowly picking away at our own sense of who we are.

This behaviour is continuously repeated, gradually leading to the erosion of our sense of reality and understanding of the truth. By chipping away at our beliefs and memories through denials, contradictions, and blame-shifting, the gaslighter gains control over our emotions and clarity of thought, making us feel powerless and dependent on them. It's at this final stage where the direct abuse can start.

Gaslighting is a straightforward yet potent method of control and abuse that can often escape a person's notice. That's why the aim of this chapter is to now provide you with an extensive understanding of what gaslighting looks like and how to recognize its signs.

We'll start by exploring some of the most common techniques used by the gaslighter to introduce doubt and submission to gain control.

• Denying Reality: The gaslighter consistently denies things that have happened, even when there's clear evidence to the contrary. They make you doubt your own perceptions.

• Trivializing Feelings: Gaslighters belittle your emotions, making you feel like you're overreacting or being irrational about your feelings.

• Shifting Blame: They deflect blame onto you, turning situations around so that it becomes your fault, even when it's not.

• Withholding Information: Gaslighters keep you in the dark or tell half-truths to maintain control over the situation or keep you guessing.

• Isolation: In some cases, gaslighters might attempt to isolate you from friends, family, or anyone who could provide a reality check, making you more dependent on them.

• Projection: Gaslighters often project their own negative traits or actions onto you. They accuse you of behaviours or actions they're actually guilty of.

• Countering Your Reality: They undermine your perception by saying your memory is unreliable. This can make you doubt your own memory and judgment.

• Control Over Finances: Some gaslighters maintain control over financial aspects, making you financially dependent and beholden to them.

• Silent Treatment: Using the silent treatment as a form of control and punishment. They may stop talking to you for extended periods to make you feel guilty.

• Double Standards: Gaslighters might hold you to one set of rules while they have a different set of rules for themselves. They apply different standards to your actions and theirs.

• Joking About Concerns: Gaslighters might downplay or mock your legitimate concerns, making it seem like you're overly sensitive or humorously dismissing your worries.

• Undermining Your Self-Esteem: They may constantly criticize you, making you doubt your self-worth and creating a dependency on their approval.

• Deflecting the Conversation: When you try to address an issue, they change the subject or avoid discussing the topic altogether.

The idea of using these techniques on a person is to illicit a certain response in order to confuse, manipulate and control them. (Klein, Wood, & Bartz,2023) Unfortunately however sometimes these behaviours are hard to spot..... especially when relationships and love are involved.

Another way to spot the presence of abuse is by observing its impact on the individual (Sodoma, 2022). Gaslighting can leave a person feeling bewildered, distressed, and exasperated, often reacting in the following ways - (Verywellmind)

• You doubt your feelings and reality: You try to convince yourself that the treatment you receive is not that bad or that you are too sensitive.

• You question your judgment and perceptions: You are afraid of speaking up or expressing your emotions. You have learned that sharing your opinion usually makes you feel worse in the end, so you stay silent instead.

• You feel vulnerable and insecure: You often feel like you "walk on eggshells" around your partner, friend, or family member. You also feel on edge and lack self-esteem.

• You feel alone and powerless: You are convinced that everyone around you thinks you are "strange," "crazy," or "unstable," just like the person who is gaslighting you says you are. This makes you feel trapped and isolated.

• You wonder if you are what they say you are: The person who gaslights you says words that make you feel like you are wrong, unintelligent, inadequate, or insane. Sometimes, you even find yourself repeating these statements to yourself.

• You are disappointed in yourself and who you have become: For instance, you feel like you are weak and passive, and that you used to be stronger and more assertive.

• You feel confused: The behaviour of the person gaslighting you confuses you, almost as if they are Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

• You worry that you are too sensitive: The person minimizes hurtful behaviours or words by saying “I was just joking" or "You need thicker skin."

• You have a sense of impending doom: You feel like something terrible is about to happen when you are around this person. This may include feeling threatened and on edge without knowing why.

• You spend a lot of time apologizing: You feel the need to apologize all the time for what you do or who you are.

• You feel inadequate: You feel like you are never "good enough." You try to live up to the expectations and demands of others, even if they are unreasonable.

• You second-guess yourself: You frequently wonder if you accurately remember the details of past events. You may have even stopped trying to share what you remember for fear that it is wrong.

• You assume others are disappointed in you: You apologize all the time for what you do or who you are, assuming people are let down by you or that you have somehow made a mistake.

• You wonder what's wrong with you: You wonder if there’s something fundamentally wrong with you. In other words, you worry that you are not well mentally.

• You struggle to make decisions because you distrust yourself: You would rather allow your partner, friend, or family member to make decisions for you and avoid decision-making altogether.

The most effective defence against this kind of abuse is to cultivate self-awareness, both about ourselves and the behaviours of others. When we have a clear understanding of others' actions and how they impact us, we can implement strategies to prevent such manipulation.

In this context, knowledge truly becomes a source of empowerment.

Preventing Gaslighting: The Top 10 Things You Need To Know

Gaslighting is a subtle yet destructive manipulation tactic utilized by certain individuals to gain dominance and control over their partners or loved ones. Understanding how to effectively respond to this form of abuse is crucial for safeguarding oneself from the harm it can inflict (Sarkis, S2018).

Below, I've compiled a list of what I consider the top 10 ways to effectively address gaslighting.

1. Educate Yourself: Gaslighting often thrives in ignorance. By learning about gaslighting and its tactics, you become better equipped to recognize when it's happening to you or someone you care about. Knowledge is your first line of defence.

2. Trust Your Memories and Perceptions: Gaslighters aim to distort your reality, causing self-doubt. In these moments, remind yourself of the facts as you know them. Trust your own experiences and emotions.

3. Seek Outside Perspectives: Gaslighters thrive on isolation. Talk to friends and family to gain an outsider's perspective on the situation. They can provide valuable insights and help you see things more clearly.

4. Document Everything: Maintain your clarity of thought by documenting details of conversations and events. This record can serve as a concrete reminder of what transpired, aiding your understanding and defence.

5. Set Boundaries: Communicate and establish clear boundaries with the gaslighter. Make it known what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. This helps protect your emotional well-being.

6. Stay Calm and Assertive: Gaslighters often provoke heated arguments. Instead of engaging in confrontations or accusations, calmly state your perspective and stand your ground. Maintain composure.

7. Learn to Say "NO": Be assertive and learn to say "NO" to things you're not willing to engage in or accept. This establishes your autonomy and reinforces your boundaries.

8. Recognize Your Limits: Understand that you can't change someone's behaviour, and you're not responsible for it either. You can only control your reactions and choices.

9. Be Open to Walking Away: In cases of severe or persistent gaslighting, be open to the idea of walking away from the relationship. Your well-being is paramount, and sometimes, distance is the healthiest option.

10. Focus on Self-Reflection and Empowerment: Reconnect with your sense of self. Self-reflection and self-empowerment are vital for regaining control over your life. Discover who you are, your values, and your strengths.

Finally, If you find yourself facing someone attempting to gaslight you, it's crucial to remember that you're not alone. Offer yourself love and self-compassion, use these techniques and if all else fails, recognize when it's time to disengage or seek assistance from a professional.

Final Thoughts

As we conclude our exploration of gaslighting, I'd like to leave you with a final piece of advice: no matter what you're going through, including dealing with gaslighting, the most powerful tool at your disposal is staying connected — both with yourself and with others.

Gaslighting often thrives in the shadows, attempting to silence and isolate us. But when we maintain strong connections with our authentic selves and the people in our lives, these connections become our safety nets, ready to catch us if we start to fall.

Until next time x

More More More

Invisible Scars - The Invisible Scars blog is dedicated to raising awareness about emotional abuse and gaslighting.

Survivor Stories - Various survivor-focused blogs and websites share personal stories and support for those who have experienced gaslighting and abuse.

Narcissist Abuse Support - This blog offers information on narcissistic abuse, which often includes gaslighting behaviour.

National Domestic Violence Hotline - This organization provides resources and information about gaslighting, especially in the context of domestic abuse.

References

Klein, W., Wood, S., & Bartz, J. (2023). You Think I’m Insane: An Integrative Review and Novel Theoretical Framework for Studying the Phenomenon of Gaslighting.

Hightower, E. (2017). An exploratory study of personality factors related to psychological abuse and gaslighting (Doctoral dissertation, William James College).

Sodoma, K. A. (2022). Emotional gaslighting and affective empathy. International Journal of Philosophical Studies, 30(3), 320-338.

Sarkis, S. (2018). Gaslighting: How to recognise manipulative and emotionally abusive people and break free. Hachette UK.

In the depths of grief and loss, we often find ourselves navigating through a labyrinth of emotions, seeking a glimmer of hope and healing. In this profound journey, we'll delve into the shadows of sorrow and emerge with newfound resilience. Join us as we explore five transformative interventions that illuminate the path from darkness to resilience, offering solace and strength to those who bear the weight of grief. Discover how these interventions can guide you through the turbulent seas of loss and ultimately lead you to a place of profound transformation and unwavering resilience.

• Namaste

• How Accepting Your Emotions Can Help You Heal Faster And Deal With Grief And Loss Effective

• Finding Grief Support That Works For You

• Meaningful Ways To Celebrate The Life Of Your Loved One And Embrace Healing After Loss

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

Have you had times in your life when you've had to deal with major life events and just when things are getting back to normal..... BANG....... Something else happens?

Well, that's been my and my partner's life for the past year. We've both lost some people in our lives and it doesn't look like it's going to stop this year.

Pondering on that I realized unfortunately being my age losing people is going to start happening more and more often.

........Then another thought popped into my head

The outcome of that thought was this blog so If you would like to know more like me or you are struggling yourself with loss and grief this blog is for you.

(1) How Accepting Your Emotions Can Help You Heal Faster And Deal with Grief And Loss Effective

Accepting your emotions is one of the most important aspects of dealing with grief and loss. It's essential to understand that experiencing strong emotions following loss is a natural and normal part of the healing process. Whether it's sadness, anger, guilt, or despair, it's crucial to allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment.

Many people feel that they need to be strong and put on a brave face when dealing with grief. However, suppressing emotions can result in emotional exhaustion, and detrimental health effects, and make it more challenging to move forward (O'Connor, 2019) It's essential to acknowledge and feel your emotions so you can begin to process and find healthy ways to cope. Accepting your emotions creates an avenue for the healing process to commence, and this may take time.

Also, understand that the grieving process is not a straight line, and emotions can fluctuate. One day you may feel numb, and the next you may be overwhelmed with sadness but by accepting your emotions, you can begin the healing process and make progress in your journey to normalcy.

Finally, allow yourself to check out and grieve without the pressure of finding a quick fix. Be kind to yourself.... Healing is a process and we all handle that differently.... And that's OK.

(2) Finding Grief Support That Works For You

Getting over the loss of someone is hugely personal and unique. What works for one person might not work for the next so In this chapter, I'd like to share with you what I understand about grief and what's out there to help us (Rogalla, 2020)

Understanding Grief

Before delving into finding support, it's essential to understand the grief process. Grief is a natural response to loss, and it can manifest in a multitude of ways, both emotionally and physically. The psychological effects of the death of a loved one can be profound, and it's crucial to recognize that grieving is a necessary part of the healing process.

The Grief Process

Grief is not a linear process; it varies from person to person. While there are common stages of grief, such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, not everyone experiences these stages in the same order or to the same degree.

Coping With Grief

Coping with grief involves developing strategies and skills to manage your emotions and find a way to live with the loss..... What's important to understand is that it doesn't mean we are forgetting about our loved ones or the pain we're feeling it just means finding ways to navigate life despite the sorrow.

Self-Help For Grief

Sometimes, individuals prefer to cope with grief on their own, and several methods can assist in this process:

Journaling

Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal can be a therapeutic way to process grief. It allows you to express your emotions, reflect on your experiences, and track your progress over time.

Mindfulness And Meditation

Practising mindfulness and meditation can help you stay present and reduce the overwhelming thoughts and feelings associated with grief. These techniques promote self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Supportive Reading

There are numerous books and online resources available that offer guidance and insights into dealing with grief. Reading about others' experiences can help you feel less alone and provide valuable coping strategies.

While self-help methods can be valuable, many people find it beneficial to seek professional support when dealing with grief. Here's what's out there for us -

Grief Counselling

Grief counselling involves working with a trained therapist specialising in grief and bereavement. These professionals can help you navigate your emotions, provide coping strategies, and offer a safe space to express your grief. It utilizes various therapeutic techniques, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), interpersonal therapy (IPT), and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). These methods can help you process your grief and address any unresolved issues.

Group Therapy

Group therapy provides an opportunity to connect with others who are experiencing similar grief. Sharing your experiences and hearing from others can provide validation and support.

Support Groups

Joining a grief support group, either in person or online, can provide a sense of community and understanding. These groups are typically facilitated by trained individuals who guide discussions and provide resources.

Bereavement Organizations

Many organizations specialize in bereavement support and offer resources, educational materials, and workshops to help individuals cope with grief effectively.

Healing after loss is a personal journey, and it's essential to remember that there is no set timeline for grief. It's okay to seek support whenever you feel ready and to explore multiple avenues until you find what works best for you. It's okay to seek support whenever you feel ready and to explore multiple avenues until you find what works best for you.

(3) Create The Routine For Your Life After Loss And Grief

The grieving process is never an easy one, but it can provide opportunities for growth and transformation. If you're interested in getting yourself into a healthy headspace (Parkes C. M. (1998). I've listed a few things below that we can all do on a daily that will help us move forward.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care and self-compassion are essential components of post-loss growth. Start by scheduling activities that make you feel good and prioritize taking care of yourself. This can include activities such as exercise, spending time in nature, meditation, or anything else that may bring you joy.

Set Daily Intentions

Intentional living can be an effective way to approach everyday life. Setting intentions for each day can help keep you focused on your goals, providing structure to the grieving process. Try to start your day with a morning ritual such as meditation or journaling, where you set intentions for how you want your day to unfold.

Connect with Support Networks

Connecting with supportive people is crucial for healing. Consider finding a support group or seeking the assistance of a trained professional to help guide you through the grieving process. Lean on close friends and family members who have been through similar experiences.

Incorporating Grief Coping Skills

Grief coping skills such as mindfulness, journaling, and creative expression can help alleviate stress and promote overall well-being. Consider incorporating these methods into your routine as a source of comfort when navigating difficult emotions.

Embrace Flexibility

There's no right or wrong way to grieve; it is a unique experience for everyone. Being flexible during this time is essential, as your routine may need to change on any given day. Be open to adjusting and trying new activities that enhance your well-being.

Sustain Your Routine

Creating a routine is helpful, but it is important to stick to it to reap its full benefits. Make sure your routine includes activities that you enjoy and that are sustainable in the long run. Focus on the positive changes you notice as you continue with your routine and allow them to motivate you to keep going.

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful tool in overcoming difficult times. Keep a journal of gratitude daily, reflecting on all the positive things in your life. Seeing the positives in your life can help you appreciate it more fully and promote healing.

Creating a routine can provide structure and focus during the grieving process. Prioritizing self-care, setting daily intentions, connecting with supportive networks, incorporating grief coping skills, embracing flexibility, sustaining your routine, and practising gratitude can all contribute to meaningful post-loss growth.

(5) Meaningful Ways To Celebrate The Life Of Your Loved One And Embrace Healing After Loss

For some people moving on from a loss can be extremely difficult as they fear they will lose the connection they had with that person and I get it.... Time can be both a gift and a curse when dealing with grief..... so for those who worry about this, I've listed a few things below that you can do to truly celebrate someone's life and keep those memories alive (Berna van Baarsen, 2002)

Cook Their Favorite Meal

Cooking your loved one's favourite meal can be a simple yet special way to celebrate their memory. Gather family and friends to share stories over a home-cooked meal and savour the flavours that your loved one enjoyed.

Visit Their Favorite Place

Going to your loved one's favourite place, whether it's a park, beach, or restaurant, can be a meaningful and personal way to honour their memory. You can reminisce about the memories you shared and reflect on the impact your loved one had on your life.

Create A Memory Box

A memory box is an easy way to keep your loved one's memory close. You can fill it with items that remind you of happy times together, such as a favourite photo, a handwritten letter, or a special trinket.

Participate In Their Favorite Activity

Engaging in your loved one's favourite activity, such as fishing, hiking, or painting, can be a comforting way to feel connected to them after they're gone. You can continue to enjoy the activity in their memory and feel their presence in the things they love.

Volunteer For A Cause They Cared About

Volunteering for a cause that was important to your loved one is a meaningful way to keep their memory alive. Not only is it a positive way to give back, but it can also be a way to honour your loved one's values and make a difference in their memory.

Final Thoughts

The death and loss of someone we love is one of the hardest things to have to deal with yet it's something that we will all have to go through and there is no easy way around it..... No magic pill to get around it. The only thing we can do is deal with it when it happens and deal with it in the healthiest of ways.

More More More

At a Loss - At a Loss is a UK-based directory that helps you find bereavement support services and groups near you.

The Good Grief Journal - This blog, part of The Good Grief Trust, features personal stories, articles, and resources related to grief and bereavement.

Sue Ryder Blog - Sue Ryder, which offers palliative, neurological, and bereavement support services, features blog posts on various topics related to loss and grief.

Cruse Bereavement Care - Cruse is a leading UK charity dedicated to providing support, advice, and information to people who have experienced the death of a loved one.

References

O'Connor M. F. (2019). Grief: A Brief History of Research on How Body, Mind, and Brain Adapt. Psychosomatic Medicine, 81(8), 731–738.

Parkes C. M. (1998). Bereavement in adult life. BMJ (Clinical research ed.), 316(7134), 856–859.

Rogalla, K. B. (2020). Anticipatory Grief, Proactive Coping, Social Support, and Growth: Exploring Positive Experiences of Preparing for Loss. OMEGA - Journal of Death and Dying, 81(1), 107-129.

Berna van Baarsen, Theories on Coping With Loss: The Impact of Social Support and Self-Esteem on Adjustment to Emotional and Social Loneliness Following a Partner's Death in Later Life, The Journals of Gerontology: Series B, Volume 57, Issue 1, 1 January 2002, Pages S33–S42,

Do you have a difficult time breaking bad habits? Are you tired of feeling like you’re on a hamster wheel, unable to change your behaviour, no matter how hard you try? If so, then this blog post is for you. Named "Breaking Bad Habits Made Simple: The Science of How Habits Form and How to Change Them", this post explores the underlying science behind habits and how you can develop strategies to change them.

• Namaste

• Understanding Habit Formation: The Science Behind Breaking Bad Habits

• Breaking Bad Habits: How To Identify Destructive Behaviors

• Identifying Your Triggers: Spotting The Behaviors That Fuel Your Bad Habits

• Creating an Effective Plan: Proven Strategies for Habit Change And Building New Ones

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

They say that one indication of insanity is repeatedly engaging in the same behaviour and expecting different outcomes. I'm willing to wager that we have all been guilty of this. I certainly have.

But why? Why do we find it so challenging to break free from the actions that we know are detrimental to us?

Well, that's precisely what we will explore together in this blog post. We will delve into how habits are formed, how we can identify them, and most importantly, what steps we can take to transform them.

So, if this topic piques your interest, this blog is just for you.

Understanding Habit Formation: The Science Behind Breaking Bad Habits

Breaking unhealthy habits can be challenging, but gaining insight into the science behind habit formation can assist us in making enduring positive changes.

Habits are developed within the brain through a process known as neuroplasticity (Gardner, Lally & Wardle, 2012). which refers to the brain's capacity to adapt and change over time. When we repeatedly engage in a particular behaviour, neural pathways in the brain start to form and strengthen, creating what is commonly referred to as a "habit loop." This loop consists of three key elements: a cue, a behaviour, and a reward (Gardner, Lally & Wardle, 2012).

To illustrate, let's consider the habit of smoking. The cue could be stress, the behaviour would be smoking a cigarette, and the reward may be a sense of relaxation or reduced anxiety.

To break free from an unhealthy habit, it is crucial to disrupt this habit loop by modifying one or more of its components.

For instance, you could attempt to identify and avoid triggers (the cues) that lead to smoking. Instead of smoking, you could replace the behaviour with a healthier alternative such as chewing gum or practicing deep breathing exercises. Additionally, finding alternative ways to cope with stress and anxiety that offer a similar reward to smoking, such as engaging in exercise or practising yoga, can be beneficial.

By combining an understanding of the psychology behind habit formation with the identification of cues, routines, and rewards, we can effectively work towards breaking free from unhealthy habits and fostering positive change within ourselves.

Breaking Bad Habits: How To Identify Destructive Behaviors

Getting rid of bad habits is not easy, but it's super important for a better life. Knowing what your bad habits are is the first step in breaking 'em. It helps you figure out why you do 'em and how to stop 'em.

Here are five crucial things to know about bad habits (Jager, Wander, 2003)

• They're Tough to Kick: Bad habits can be like those things you just can't stop doing, man. They might give you a temporary high, but breaking free from 'em becomes a real challenge.

• They Have Terrible Consequences: Bad habits can seriously mess up your life, dude. They can lead to all sorts of negative outcomes, like ruining relationships or affecting your health. So ditch 'em as soon as you can

• Understanding the Root Cause: Getting to the bottom of why you engage in bad habits is key, bro. Once you understand the source, you can work towards addressing it and finding healthier alternatives.

• Replacing with Good Habits: It's not just about quitting bad habits, man. It's also about replacing 'em with good ones. This can help fill the void and ensure you have more positive habits in your life.

• It Takes Time and Effort: Breaking bad habits is a journey, dude. It won't happen overnight, but with dedication and effort, you can overcome 'em. Stay committed to the process, and you'll see progress.

Start by identifying those bad habits and take small steps towards a better, habit-free life.

Identifying Your Triggers: Spotting The Behaviors That Fuel Your Bad Habits

Knowing what makes us do our bad habits is pretty damn important (Jager, Wander, 2003)

These little things are called triggers and they can come in all shapes and sizes - it could be how you're feeling, what's going on around you, or even certain places.

Let's take smoking as an example. If your bad habit is smoking, the triggers for lighting up might be when you're enjoying a cup of coffee or sipping on some alcohol, when you're stressed out to the max, or when you're hanging out with your smoking buddies. Toss in a sprinkle of boredom, anxiety, or simply not having much to do, and boom - you've got yourself some cravings.

To catch those sneaky triggers try Asking yourself these questions: When do you usually do your bad habits? Is it when you feel a certain way or when something specific is going on? Do you notice any physical feelings that come with the urge to do the habit? Be honest with yourself and try to figure out as many triggers as you can.

Once you know your triggers, you can make a plan on how to deal with them.

Creating An Effective Plan: Proven Strategies For Habit Change And Building New Ones

So we've decided to change things. What now?

Well, it starts with commitment, dedication, determination, and a game plan....... et me share with you some game-changing strategies that have helped me make some lasting changes (Benjamin, Madelynne, Brown, Frank, James, Kyra, Nelli, Jennifer, Keller, Kwasnicka, Labudek, Marien, Masaryk, McCleary, Mullan, Neter, Orbell, Potthoff & Lally, 2023)

Pick the Right Habits: First things first, figure out which habits will align with your goals and values. Focus on the ones that will bring positive vibes to your life and help you achieve what you want.

• Have a Game Plan: It's time to whip out that pen and paper and sketch a plan. Jot down how you're gonna create and stick to your brand new habits. Be as specific as you can.

• Let's take it easy: Start off with some small, doable goals. We want to make sure we're setting ourselves up for success and building on those little wins as we go.

• Keep it real: Let's set some targets that we can actually reach. We'll break down our habits into smaller milestones and keep track of how we're doing along the way.

• Get into the groove: Make your new habit a part of your everyday routine. The more you do it, the more it'll become second nature. Let's make it a priority and get into the swing of things!

• Keep Going: Forming a habit doesn't happen overnight, it takes dedication and perseverance. Don't let setbacks discourage you; instead, recommit and get back on track.

By sticking to these strategies, you can build positive habits that will lead you to success and make your life better. Just remember to start with small steps, create a plan, set achievable goals, establish a routine, find someone to keep you accountable, celebrate every win, and never give up.

Final Thoughts

If there was one thing I would like you to take away from this, it's the importance of breaking free from bad habits. We all have them, those patterns of behaviour that hold us back and keep us stuck in the same old routines......But the truth is, things don't have to stay this way. It's never too late to change and that power to transform our lives lies within each and every one of us.

Now, it's your turn.

What's your experience with breaking bad habits? Do you have any success stories, tips, or insights to share? Your comments and stories can inspire and help others who are on the same path.

leave a comment below and spread the word on your favourite social platforms! Together, we can inspire transformation and help others embark on their own journey to a healthier, happier life.

More More More

Harvard Health Publishing - One of the top schools in the world offers a library full of research on personal development.

Psychology Today - Provides easy-to-understand advice and guidance on all things related to mental wellness

James Clear - Give a personal reflection on how habits are made and how to change them.

References

Gardner, B., Lally, P., & Wardle, J. (2012). Making health habitual: the psychology of 'habit-formation' and general practice. The British journal of general practice : the journal of the Royal College of General Practitioners, 62(605), 664–666.

Jager, Wander. (2003). Breaking ‘bad habits’: a dynamical perspective on habit formation and change.

Benjamin Gardner, Madelynne A. Arden, Daniel Brown, Frank F. Eves, James Green, Kyra Hamilton, Nelli Hankonen, Jennifer Inauen, Jan Keller, Dominika Kwasnicka, Sarah Labudek, Hans Marien, Radomír Masaryk, Nicola McCleary, Barbara A. Mullan, Efrat Neter, Sheina Orbell, Sebastian Potthoff & Phillippa Lally (2023) Developing habit-based health behaviour change interventions: twenty-one questions to guide future research, Psychology & Health, 38:4, 518-540,

Discover the transformative journey of "Unlocking Your Inner Strength: 7 Powerful Ways to Boost Self-Esteem." Unleash your true potential, rewrite limiting beliefs, embrace authenticity, and cultivate resilience. Join us on this empowering expedition towards greater self-confidence and fulfilment. Let's embark on the path of self-discovery together

• Namaste

• Embracing Self-Compassion - A Foundation for Self-Esteem

• Rewriting Limiting Beliefs - Unleashing Your True Potential

• Embracing Your Authenticity - The Power of Being Yourself

• Celebrating Your Accomplishments - Acknowledging Your Growth

• Setting Boundaries - Respecting Your Needs and Well-Being

• Embracing Growth Mindset - Cultivating Resilience

• Self-Care Rituals - Nurturing Your Inner Foundation

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

Question: Do you treat yourself as kindly as you treat your family and friends?

Chances are, you don't. But why?

We love everyone else regardless of their failings.... But ourselves..... Anything but perfection and somehow we're failing at life.

I think this needs to stop and that narrative needs to change and hopefully, this blog will start us off.

"Unlocking Your Inner Strength: 7 Powerful Ways To Boost Self-Esteem" will give us all the hints, tips and tricks we need to help us start boosting our self-esteem..... So if you think that's something you might be interested in, this is for you.

Embracing Self-Compassion - A Foundation for Self-Esteem

Embracing self-compassion is the foundation for building healthy self-esteem and a positive outlook on life. It's time to break free from self-criticism and embrace a more compassionate mindset towards ourselves. Here are some strategies to help you cultivate self-compassion and boost your self-esteem: (Abdel-Khalek, Ahmed, 2016)

• Practice self-talk: Start paying attention to the way you speak to yourself. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your worth, strengths, and abilities. Encourage yourself just as you would encourage a friend.

• Celebrate small victories: Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest achievements. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Give yourself credit for your efforts and progress, no matter how minor they may seem.

• Practice self-care: Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Nurture yourself by engaging in activities you enjoy, prioritizing relaxation and self-reflection, and focusing on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Treat yourself with kindness and prioritize your needs.

• Set realistic goals: Avoid setting unrealistic expectations that only lead to disappointment. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. By achieving these bite-sized goals, you build confidence and momentum towards your bigger aspirations.

• Embrace mistakes and failures: Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes or failures, view them as opportunities for growth. Learn from them and allow yourself to have setbacks. Remember, nobody is perfect, and mistakes are a natural part of the learning process.

• Surround yourself with positive support: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Seek out friends, family, or mentors who believe in you and encourage your goals. Their positivity will help reinforce your self-esteem and motivate you to keep going.

• Practice gratitude: Cultivate a mindset of gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life. Each day, reflect on what you are grateful for, no matter how small. This will shift your perspective and help you appreciate yourself and your journey.

Remember, building self-esteem and practising self-compassion is a continuous journey. Be patient with yourself, and remember that you deserve love, understanding, and acceptance.

Rewriting Limiting Beliefs - Unleashing Your True Potential

Limiting beliefs are the negative stories we tell ourselves that hold us back from reaching our full potential (Abdel-Khalek, Ahmed, 2016). To unleash your true potential, it's essential to identify and rewrite these limiting beliefs. Here are some strategies to help you rewrite your limiting beliefs and unlock your true potential:

• Identify your limiting beliefs: Start by recognizing the negative stories you tell yourself. Ask yourself what beliefs might be holding you back. Write down these thoughts on paper to make them more tangible and easier to identify.

• Challenge these beliefs: Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, challenge them. Ask yourself if they are really true, or if they are just assumptions you've made about yourself or the world. If they're not accurate, recognize them as false and let them go.

• Reframe your language: Replace the negative language of your limiting beliefs with positive and empowering language. For instance, instead of telling yourself that you're not good enough, try saying to yourself that you're capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

• Make a plan: Finally, make a plan for how you will continue to identify and rewrite your limiting beliefs moving forward. Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to see how you're doing and to continue working on growing and expanding your potential.

Remember, rewriting your limiting beliefs is an ongoing process and requires intentional effort. But with patience, practice, and perseverance, you can unleash your true potential and become the best version of yourself.

Embracing Your Authenticity - The Power Of Being Yourself

Embracing your authenticity means being your true self and owning who you are. Here are some strategies to help you embrace your authenticity and experience the power of being yourself:

• Identify your values: Start by identifying your values, beliefs, and priorities. This can help you understand what makes you unique and what's important to you.

• Silence your inner critic: Let go of the need to compare yourself to others, and silence your inner critic. Accept that there will always be people who are better or worse than you at certain things. Focus on your own path and what you can control.

• Be honest with yourself: Recognize the things that you're passionate about, and pursue them wholeheartedly. This will help you to be honest with yourself and to pursue your true calling without fear or hesitation.

• Trust yourself: Trust yourself and your unique insight. Follow your intuition and trust that you know what's best for you.

Remember, there's power in being yourself. Embracing your authenticity can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. Take small steps each day to embrace who you are and continue to grow and evolve in ways that feel authentic to you.

Celebrating Your Accomplishments - Acknowledging Your Growth

Acknowledging your growth and celebrating your accomplishments is an essential step in building a positive mindset and continuing to achieve your goals (Bailey, 2003). Here are some strategies to help you celebrate your accomplishments and recognize your growth:

• Keep a journal: Keep a journal or record of your accomplishments. This can be a written diary, a digital note, or a collection of saved emails about your successes. This way, you can reflect on your progress and celebrate your accomplishments whenever you need a confidence boost.

• Celebrate small milestones: Celebrate your small successes as well as your big accomplishments. Recognize the small steps you've taken on your path towards achieving your goals and celebrate each one.

• Share your successes: Share your accomplishments and successes with others. Not only will this help to reinforce and celebrate them, but it can also help to inspire and encourage others.

• Take time to reflect: Set aside time to reflect on your recent accomplishments and growth. Consider what you learned from the experience and how you can use these lessons to continue to grow and improve.

• Treat yourself: Treat yourself for your achievements! This can be something as simple as taking a day off or buying yourself a small gift. Rewarding yourself for your accomplishments can help to reinforce your positive behaviors and habits.

• Give yourself credit: Give yourself credit for the hard work and effort you put into your accomplishments. Recognize that you're the one who made it happen, and you deserve to be proud of your accomplishments.

• Keep moving forward: Finally, remember to keep moving forward. Celebrating your accomplishments is important, but don't let it stop you from continuing to push yourself towards your next goal. There's always more to achieve, and your past successes are just a stepping stone towards future growth.

Remember, celebrating your accomplishments is an essential part of maintaining a positive mindset, acknowledging your growth, and building your self-confidence. Take the time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and remember that every step forward is progress toward achieving your goals.

Setting Boundaries - Respecting Your Needs And Well-Being

Setting boundaries is an important part of respecting your needs and well-being. Here are some strategies that can help you set boundaries effectively:

• Identify your limits: Start by identifying what your personal limits are. Think about what's important to you and your well-being. This will help you to set boundaries that are in line with your values and priorities.

• Communicate directly: Communicate your boundaries directly with others. Be clear and specific about what you will and won't tolerate, and what your expectations are in different situations.

• Be assertive: Being assertive means standing your ground and expressing your needs in a confident way. You don't need to feel guilty or apologize for setting boundaries.

• Stay consistent: Consistency is key when it comes to setting boundaries. Stick to what you've communicated to others, even if it's hard. This will help to establish that your boundaries are important and to gain respect from others.

• Learn to say no: Saying no is crucial to setting boundaries. Saying no doesn't mean you're being rude or unkind, it means you're protecting your own well-being and priorities.

Remember, setting boundaries is an essential part of taking care of yourself and your well-being. You have the right to set boundaries and to prioritize your needs. Be clear, assertive, and consistent in your communication and actions, and don't be afraid to seek support from others when needed. With practice and self-care, you can become an expert on setting boundaries that work best for you.

Embracing Growth Mindset - Cultivating Resilience

Embracing a growth mindset is essential for cultivating resilience, which allows you to bounce back from challenges and setbacks (Ahmed, Walter, Elayaraja, Lee & Randles, 2017) Here are some strategies that can help you develop a growth mindset and build resilience:

• Believe in your ability to grow: Embrace the belief that you have the ability to grow and improve. This means recognizing that you're not perfect and that you have room to learn and develop in different areas of your life.

• Embrace failure as an opportunity to learn: Cultivate a positive view of failure. Recognize that failure is a natural part of the learning process and that it provides opportunities to learn and grow.

• Learn from criticism: Instead of feeling criticized by negative feedback, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and improve. Consider how the feedback can help you grow and apply what you've learned in future situations.

• Keep learning: Keep learning and trying new things. Embrace new challenges and opportunities to push your boundaries and develop new skills. This will help you build your resilience and prepare you for future challenges.

Remember, developing a growth mindset takes practice and patience, but it can help you to build resilience and enhance your ability to overcome challenges. Embrace the belief that you have the ability to learn and grow, and be kind to yourself along the way. With a growth mindset, you can build the confidence and resilience to handle what life throws your way.

Self-Care Rituals - Nurturing Your Inner Foundation

Self-care rituals are essential for nurturing your inner foundation (Bagheri-Nesami, Goudarzian, Mirani, Jouybari & Nasiri, 2016). Here are some strategies that can help you cultivate self-care rituals that work for you:

• Identify what helps you relax: Take some time to think about what things help you relax and recharge. This might include activities like taking a bath, meditating, reading, or spending time in nature.

• Prioritize rest and sleep: Getting enough rest and sleep is key to your physical and emotional well-being. Take care to prioritize restful sleep and make sure you're getting enough rest each day.

• Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness practices like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing can help you reduce stress and anxiety, and cultivate a sense of calm and balance.

• Engage your senses: Engage your senses with aromatherapy, scented candles, or soothing music. These sensory experiences can help you relax and unwind after a long day.

• Move your body: Exercise and movement are important for your physical and emotional health. Find physical activities that you enjoy and make them a regular part of your self-care routine.

• Nourish your body: Eating healthy, nutritious foods and staying hydrated can help you feel energized and refreshed. Make sure you're fueling your body with what it needs to function at its best.

Remember, self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for your physical and emotional well-being. Invest in yourself by prioritizing self-care rituals that work for you. By taking care of yourself, you can build a strong inner foundation that will help you face life's challenges with resilience and strength.

Final Thoughts

The last thing I want to say ending this blog is although we all go through fazes in life when we don't feel the most confident about ourselves what's important is to remember is even in those moments we are still worthy of self-love and we need to go a little easier on ourselves.

So if in the future your starting to feel a bit insecure I hope this blog will be a reminder of what to do to get your self-esteem back on track.

As always, If you enjoyed this blog please share it and leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts ❤️

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Positive Psychology is an online resource that offers tools and strategies for increasing self-esteem. The website provides readers with articles, exercises, and tips on topics, including self-compassion, self-awareness, and assertiveness.

The National Association of Self-Esteem is an organization dedicated to promoting healthy self-esteem and self-worth. Through its website, NASE offers a range of articles, resources, and webinars designed to enhance self-esteem and create a supportive community.

YoungsMinds Provide young people with tools to look after their mental health. They empower adults to be the best support they can be to the young people in their lives. And they give young people the space and confidence to get their voices heard and change the world we live in.

The Positivity Blog Provides practical personal development advice and step-by-step strategies that work in real life to produce positive results then you are in the right place.

If you're interested in learning more about improving your self-esteem the Google search box below will help you.

References

Bailey J. A., 2nd (2003). The foundation of self-esteem. Journal of the National Medical Association, 95(5), 388–393.

Md. Dilsad Ahmed, Walter King Yan Ho, Rudolph Leon Van Niekerk, Tony Morris, M. Elayaraja, Ki-Cheon Lee & Edel Randles | Cornelia Duregger (Reviewing Editor) (2017) The self-esteem, goal orientation, and health-related physical fitness of active and inactive adolescent students, Cogent Psychology

Michal (Michelle) Mann and others, Self-esteem in a broad-spectrum approach for mental health promotion, Health Education Research, Volume 19, Issue 4, August 2004, Pages 357–372,

Abdel-Khalek, Ahmed. (2016). Introduction to the Psychology of self-esteem.

Bagheri-Nesami, M., Goudarzian, A. H., Mirani, H., Jouybari, S. S., & Nasiri, D. (2016). ASSOCIATION BETWEEN SELF-CARE BEHAVIORS AND SELF-ESTEEM OF RURAL ELDERLIES; NECESSITY OF HEALTH PROMOTION. Materia socio-medica, 28(1), 41–45.

Are you tired of restless nights and waking up feeling groggy? Look no further! We have the ultimate secret to unlocking the blissful sleep you've been dreaming of. Get ready as we reveal "Sleep Like A Baby: Unveiling The Ultimate Guide To Achieving Your Best Night's Sleep Ever."

• Namaste

• Why Quality Sleep Is Important The Benefits Of Establishing A Consistent Sleep Schedule

• Foods And Beverages To Avoid Before Bedtime

• The Connection Between Exercise And Better Sleep

• The Best Sleep Positions For A Good Night's Sleep

• How To Create A Relaxing Bedroom Environment

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

Fellow Night Walkers.

Today's blog is all about sleep.... one of my favourite hobbies but I'm just not very good at getting enough of it.

I go to bed feeling tired but as soon as I hit that pillow the most ridiculous thoughts start popping into my head and I'm left there contemplating the meaning of life for 2 hours and then spend the next day struggling at life. (Guadagni, Burles, Ferrara, Iaria, 2014)

That was the inspiration for this blog....."Sleep Like A Baby: Unveiling The Ultimate Guide To Achieving Your Best Night's Sleep Ever" - will look at why sleep is important and what we can do to make sure we're getting enough so if you'd like to hear what I've learnt this is for you

Why Quality Sleep Is Important

Let's start off by looking at the reasons why we sleep and what happens when we do..... What is its purpose (Guadagni, Burles, Ferrara, Iaria ,2014).

• Restorative Function: While we sleep, our body and brain undergo essential repair and maintenance processes that help us feel refreshed and energized the next day. Without enough quality sleep, our immune system, cardiovascular health, cognitive abilities, and emotional regulation can suffer.

• Memory Consolidation: Getting enough sleep is crucial for remembering and learning new things. When we don't sleep enough, it becomes harder to remember information and recall it later.

• Mood Regulation: Sleep and mood are closely related. Lack of sleep can exacerbate symptoms of depression, anxiety, irritability, and stress. On the other hand, getting enough sleep can help us feel more positive, balanced, and resilient.

• Physical Performance: If you're an athlete or work out regularly, sleep can affect your athletic performance and recovery. Studies show that sleep deprivation can impair cognitive and physical performance, reduce reaction time, and increase the risk of injury.

• Longevity: Several studies suggest that there's a link between quality sleep and life longevity. People who sleep less than 7 hours per night on a regular basis have a higher risk of developing chronic health conditions such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and Alzheimer's disease.

The Benefits Of Establishing A Consistent Sleep Schedule

I think most of us know that when we get enough sleep we are better than when we don't but what exactly are the benefits?.... This is what research tells us (Zhang, Zhanjia & Chen, Weiyun, 2019)

Firstly, improved energy levels. When you stick to a regular sleep routine, you'll notice a significant boost in your energy throughout the day. Say goodbye to those mid-afternoon slumps and hello to sustained productivity and focus.

Secondly, a consistent sleep schedule can work wonders for your mood and emotional well-being. When you give your body the right amount of sleep it needs, you're more likely to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. This can lead to reduced irritability, increased patience, and an overall positive outlook.

Let's not forget about the benefits for your cognitive function. Quality sleep is essential for optimal brain performance. By establishing a consistent sleep schedule, you're providing your brain with the necessary rest it craves, allowing for enhanced memory, improved concentration, and sharper mental clarity.

Furthermore, a regular sleep routine can have a positive impact on your physical health. It supports a stronger immune system, better weight management, and a reduced risk of chronic conditions such as heart disease and diabetes.

Lastly, let's not underestimate the beauty of a consistent sleep schedule for your overall well-being. When you prioritize quality sleep and maintain a regular routine, you're showing yourself the love and care you deserve. You're nurturing your body and mind, setting the stage for a healthier and happier life.

I wanted to end the last section of this post by talking about the 4 biggest things to think about when trying to establish a healthy sleep routine (Yilmaz, Tanrikulu, Dikmen, 2017)

These include

Foods And Beverages To Avoid Before Bedtime

Firstly, let's address caffeine. It's no secret that caffeine is a powerful stimulant that can keep us wide awake. Therefore, it's wise to avoid caffeinated beverages such as coffee, tea, and energy drinks in the evening. Even some seemingly innocent treats like chocolate contain caffeine, so it's worth checking labels to ensure a restful night's sleep.

Next up, spicy and heavy meals should be avoided close to bedtime. These foods can cause indigestion, heartburn, and discomfort, making it challenging to fall asleep peacefully. It's best to opt for lighter, easily digestible meals in the evening to promote a restful night.

While a nightcap may seem tempting, consuming alcohol before bed can disrupt the sleep cycle. While it may initially make you feel drowsy, alcohol can lead to fragmented and restless sleep, leaving you feeling less refreshed in the morning. It's wise to limit or avoid alcohol intake close to bedtime for the sake of quality sleep.

Another culprit to watch out for is high-sugar foods and beverages. Consuming sugary treats or sugary drinks before bed can cause a spike in blood sugar levels, leading to restlessness and difficulty falling asleep. Opt for healthier alternatives or satisfy your sweet tooth earlier in the day to avoid disrupting your sleep routine.

The Connection Between Exercise And Better Sleep

When it comes to improving your sleep quality, exercise is one of the most effective and natural ways to do so. Not only does regular physical activity help tire out your body, making it easier to fall asleep at night, but it also calms the mind and reduces feelings of stress and anxiety.

Here are some of the ways exercise can improve your sleep quality:

• Reduced stress and anxiety: Exercise has been shown to help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, which can interfere with sleep. When you engage in physical activity, your body releases endorphins, which are the brain's natural feel-good chemicals that can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

• Increased daytime energy: Regular physical activity can increase your energy levels during the day, making it easier to stay alert and focused. This, in turn, can help you stay awake during the day and sleep more easily at night.

• Better immune function: Studies have shown that regular exercise can help boost your immune system, which can help you fight off illness and disease.

• Improved mental health: Exercise has been linked to improved mood and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety, all of which can contribute to better sleep quality.

If you're struggling with sleep, try incorporating some regular physical activity into your daily routine. You might be surprised at how much of a difference it makes in your sleep quality!

The Best Sleep Positions For A Good Night's Sleep

Your sleep position plays a vital role in your overall comfort and can greatly impact the quality of your rest. So, let's explore some sleep positions that can help you drift off into dreamland with ease.

One of the most popular and highly recommended sleep positions is sleeping on your back. When you sleep on your back, you allow your spine to align naturally, promoting proper spinal alignment and minimizing the risk of developing aches and pains. This position is especially beneficial for individuals with acid reflux or those prone to wrinkles, as it reduces pressure on the face and stomach.

If you're a snorer or suffer from sleep apnea, sleeping on your side can be a game-changer. Side sleeping, particularly on your left side, can help keep your airways open and reduce the likelihood of snoring or experiencing interrupted breathing. Additionally, side sleeping can be beneficial for pregnant individuals, as it improves blood circulation and reduces the pressure on the uterus.

For those who prefer a cosy and secure sleep position, curling up on your side in the fetal position can be quite comforting. This position can help reduce snoring, ease acid reflux symptoms, and alleviate lower back pain. However, it's essential to maintain a relaxed position and avoid excessive curling, as it may lead to stiffness or discomfort.

If you find that you experience frequent neck or shoulder pain, sleeping on your back with a supportive pillow can help alleviate these issues. Placing a small pillow or rolled-up towel under your neck can provide additional support and help maintain a neutral spine position. This position can also help prevent the formation of wrinkles and reduce the likelihood of developing acid reflux symptoms.

While it's important to find a sleep position that suits your comfort preferences, it's worth noting that stomach sleeping may not be the most ideal choice. Sleeping on your stomach can strain your neck and spine, potentially leading to discomfort and misalignment. If you prefer this position, try using a thin pillow or no pillow at all to minimize strain on your neck.

Remember, finding the best sleep position for you is a personal journey. It's essential to listen to your body and adjust accordingly to ensure optimal comfort and support. Experiment with different sleep positions and pillows until you find the perfect combination that allows you to wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

How To Create A Relaxing Bedroom Environment

a bedroom environment that promotes sleep. Here are some tips:

• Keep it dark: Use blackout curtains or blinds to block out external light sources that can disrupt your sleep quality. If you need a night light, choose a red or orange bulb, which has less impact on melatonin production.

• Keep it quiet: If you live in a noisy environment, use earplugs or white noise machines to drown out distractions and create a peaceful atmosphere.

• Keep it cool: Set your bedroom temperature to a comfortable level (usually around 65-67 degrees Fahrenheit) to prevent overheating and sweating that can wake you up.

• Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows: Your sleep surface plays a crucial role in your sleep quality. Choose a supportive and comfortable mattress and pillows that suit your preferences and needs.

• Keep electronics out: Avoid using laptops, smartphones, TVs, or other electronic devices in your bedroom, as they emit blue light that can suppress melatonin production and activate your brain.

Remember, the key is to focus on decluttering, setting the mood with lighting, using soothing fragrances, and investing in quality bedding.

Final Thoughts

As A Counsellor and a blogger I'm always researching and learning something new and this was no exception..... I was genuinely surprised at how important sleep was instead of a luxury a lot of us treat it like.

What did you think?

As always, If you enjoyed this blog please share it and leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts ❤️

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National Sleep Foundation - This organization provides valuable information, resources, and tips to help individuals improve their sleep quality and address sleep disorders.

Sleepopolis - A popular sleep blog that provides comprehensive reviews of mattresses, pillows, and other sleep-related products. They also offer sleep guides and other useful information.

The Sleep Doctor - Dr. Michael J. Breus, a sleep specialist, shares his expertise and insights about sleep on his blog. He covers topics such as sleep tips, disorders, and treatments.

If you're interested in learning more about how you can create a healthy sleeping routine why not use the Google search box to explore the topic

References

Guadagni V, Burles F, Ferrara M, Iaria G. The effects of sleep deprivation on emotional empathy. J Sleep Res. 2014 Dec;23(6):657-663. doi: 10.1111/jsr.12192. Epub 2014 Aug 13. PMID: 25117004.

Alotaibi, Abdullah & Alosaimi, Faris & Alajlan, Abdullah & Bin Abdulrahman, Khalid. (2020). The relationship between sleep quality, stress, and academic performance among medical students. Journal of family & community medicine. 27. 23-28. 10.4103/jfcm.JFCM_132_19.

Mitchell MD, Gehrman P, Perlis M, Umscheid CA. Comparative effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia: a systematic review. BMC Fam Pract. 2012 May 25;13:40. doi: 10.1186/1471-2296-13-40. PMID: 22631616; PMCID: PMC3481424.

Zhang, Zhanjia & Chen, Weiyun. (2019). A Systematic Review of the Relationship Between Physical Activity and Happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies. 20. 10.1007/s10902-018-9976-0.

Yilmaz D, Tanrikulu F, Dikmen Y. Research on Sleep Quality and the Factors Affecting the Sleep Quality of the Nursing Students. Curr Health Sci J. 2017 Jan-Mar;43(1):20-24. doi: 10.12865/CHSJ.43.01.03. Epub 2017 Sep 27. PMID: 30595850; PMCID: PMC6286721.

Discover the power of assertive communication in our blog post, "Speak Loud, Live no Loud: Strategies For Assertive Communication." Learn practical techniques to express yourself confidently, set boundaries, and navigate various situations with authenticity. Join us on this transformative journey towards effective communication.

• Namaste

• The Impact Of Silence On Our Mental Health And Relationships

• Understanding The Reasons Why We Choose Silence

• Understanding The Power Of Effective Communication

• Assertiveness And Self-Expression: The Vital Role Of Communication Skills

• Practical Exercises To Build Confidence In Communicating

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

Have you ever stayed silent just because it felt like the easy option and if so what path did that silence take you down?

For me In my younger years I used to struggle with shyness and often found it difficult to communicate with people. I was so lacking in confidence you could tell me black was white and rather than debate that I would have probably just agreed with you.... I thought I knew my place and that was in the back of a room being invisible and nodding in agreement with anything that was presented to me...... If truth be told, a lad you could walk all over.

Being honest that's not an easy pill for me to swallow and I'll admit the only reason I can and am comfortable doing so is because things are very different now.... I'm very different.

Now I'm A therapist and don't get the luxury of being able to shy away from uncomfortable conversations anymore..... There are no boundaries in the therapy room.... no limits..... I have to be willing and able to go anywhere the conversation demands and in the Counselling world that message is huge. It says:.....

In this blog I want to talk about this and share with you what I've learnt as A Counsellor helping others in finding their voice. We'll talk about why for a lot of us Silence is the easy option, why this needs to change and what we need to do to change it.

If that sounds like something you'd like to hear about this blog is for you Enjoy....

The Impact Of Silence On Our Mental Health And Relationships

As a therapist, I understand the value of silence for reflection, introspection, and mindfulness but using silence as a way to cope with struggles and challenges can harm us and lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety and helplessness.

Ask yourself......

How often when we get asked "Are we OK?" our response is always "Fine"... "I don't want to talk about it" or "It doesn't matter".

Why do we chose to put up and shut up rather than be honest and share what's really going on?

Medical research (Ayhan & Seki, 2021) has shown us that chronic silence can lead to an increase in cortisol levels, which is the stress hormone that leads to long-term health problems like heart disease, digestive disorders, and autoimmune diseases

Being silenced by our struggles can also lead to mental health issues. We deny ourselves not only the support, love and comfort from the people around us but the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience.

Ultimately, our self-imposed limitations hinder our ability to communicate effectively with those around us often leading to misunderstanding, confusion and mistrust Assertiveness" target="_blank">(Alberti & Emmons, 1970)

A better way for us to be would be to learn how to effectively communicate with others what our thoughts, feelings, needs and wants are so we can live more happier, healthier and fulfilling lives.

Understanding The Reasons Why We Choose Silence

As someone who has lived with mental illness for more than two decades being silent and invisible was a way to protect myself from A fear of rejection. Back in the day, mental health stigma was the norm so I learnt very quickly that If I didn't want to be called "crazy," "weak," or "unstable." I needed to shut my mouth and keep quiet.

It was almost impossible for me to open up about my mental health to prospective employers and anyone in my personal life whom I hoped to form deep connections with because 99 times out of 100 the response I would get was always the same.......rejection.

Ultimately I knew this needed to change and I needed to find a way of being comfortable with myself and showing that and for me that happened when I went back to Uni and trained to become a Counsellor.

Finding my tribe of people that got mental health gave me all the comfort and confidence I needed to start putting myself out there without worrying to much about what people had to say.

Years later I now see this process and pattern of behaviour all the time with the clients I work with. They all come to me struggling with being able to talk about themselves and what's going on.

For a lot of them they feel that they don't have the opportunity to talk about stuff with their friends and family and when they do they say they don't know how to.

When we examine this a little deeper we always find out their reasons fall into one or more of the following categories;

• Fear of Conflict: One of the most common reasons I hear is that they don't want to make waves, hurt someone's feelings, or make the situation worse. In these situations, they feel more comfortable saying nothing at all, even if it means suppressing their thoughts and feelings.

• Lack of Confidence: A lot of clients don't think they have the ability to communicate effectively. They worry that they might say the wrong thing, come across as aggressive, or leave themselves vulnerable. In these situations, it's easier to remain silent, rather than risk saying something that might backfire.

• Avoiding Vulnerability: Another majorly common reason is that they feel uncomfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with others, especially if they're afraid of being judged, rejected, or misunderstood. For them, silence is a protective shield that keeps them from getting hurt.

• Habit: Lastly, silence is simply a habit. They have learned to remain quiet in certain situations because that's what they've always done and in a lot of situations it's become such a regular habit they are not even aware they are doing it.

All things considered silence seems to be the easy option for most of us but in reality that choice we think is the safest actually comes at a cost.

Choosing silence as a way of life can effect the relationships we have with others, it can effect the way we think of ourselves and ultimately it can lead to the choices we make in our lives not being based on what we want but what we think others will approve of.

"But what if things we're different?"..... "What if we we're confident in speaking our truth?".... "What would that look like?"

Understanding The Power Of Effective Communication

As a counsellor, I consider it an absolute privilege to help someone in their journey and seeing their transformation is priceless to me but for this chapter instead of me sharing with you my observations about the changes I see in others I wanted you to hear it from the horses mouth.

Over the last couple of weeks I have asked my clients to share 1 thing in their life that has changed because they learnt how to use their voice.

This is what they said -

Pretty amazing results don't you think?.... Let's talk about how they did it

Assertiveness And Self-Expression: The Vital Role Of Communication Skills

Have you ever heard the saying "It's not what you say but how you say it"

Well...

In some situations that's kinda true because communication isn't just about the words we use. It's also about the tone, emotion and space we use them in and there are 5 things we need to focus on to be able to express our thoughts, ideas, opinions, feelings, or actions in a clear and healthy way that can be easily understood by others. They include;

• (1) Active Listening: Pay attention to the person you're communicating with and actively listen to what they are saying and be genuinely interested in what they have to say.

• (2) Nonverbal Communication: Remember that nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, can convey a lot of information.

• (3) Empathy: Try to understand the other person's perspective and emotions. Show empathy by acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences.

• (4) Respect and Courtesy: Treat others with respect and courtesy, regardless of any differences or disagreements.

• (5) Adaptability: Provide constructive feedback when necessary and be open to receiving feedback as well. This helps in improving communication and understanding each other's needs and expectations.

Focusing on these communication skills and learning how to create spaces where everyone feels accepted, heard and empowered can be a game changer in how you connect with others and the meaningfulness of those connections.

What else do we need to know?

Practical Exercises To Build Confidence In Communicating

There's no lying building confidence in authentic communication is a tough personal journey but the rewards can have a profound impact on your self-expression, relationships, and overall well-being so to end this blog I wanted to give you some concrete ideas that you can use to help find and use your voice (Pipas, Maria & Mohammad, 2010)....

Try incorporating these practices into your daily life and see if they help

• Write Down Your Needs: One way to start communicating your needs more effectively is to write them down. By doing this, you can organize your thoughts and be prepared to communicate your needs when the opportunity arises.

• Practice Saying No: Saying no can be difficult, but it's essential in communicating your needs and boundaries. Saying no empowers you to take control of your life and communicate your needs clearly.

• Imagine success: Visualize what a successful conversation would look like and how you would feel if you successfully communicated your needs. This can help boost your confidence and give you a better idea of how to approach the conversation.

• Talk positively to yourself: Avoid negative self-talk like "I can't do this" or "I'm not good at expressing myself." Instead, tell yourself that you're capable of communicating your needs confidently and respectfully.

• Start Small: Begin practising your communication skills by speaking up in small situations like ordering food or asking for directions. This can help you build confidence and experience before dealing with more significant conversations.

• Embracing Vulnerability: Building confidence in communication often requires embracing vulnerability. Share your thoughts, emotions, and experiences with trusted individuals in your life. Practice expressing your true self without fear of judgment. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you create opportunities for deeper connections and authentic communication.

• Seek Constructive Criticism: Seek feedback from trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues. Ask for their honest input on your communication skills and areas for improvement.

Remember, building confidence takes time and patience, so be kind to yourself throughout the process. Celebrate your progress and embrace the learning opportunities that come your way.

Final Thoughts

Without a doubt learning to be comfortable being ourselves and communicating ours needs is a journey that requires us to step out of our comfort zone into the unknown.

"Do I think it's worth it?"

Absolutely..... The way I see it is why would we want to live a life that isn't ours making decisions and doing things we don't want to because of what we think other people will say?..... It seems silly to me.

What do you think?

As always, If you enjoyed this blog share it with your friends on your socials. Additionally, I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback about my posts and if you like them or not.

xx

More More More

TED Talks - : TED Talks features a range of inspiring and informative talks on assertiveness, self-expression, and finding your voice. From renowned speakers, you can gain valuable insights and motivation to help you become more assertive.

Skills You Need - Skills You Need offers a comprehensive guide to assertiveness skills, including practical techniques, tips for handling difficult conversations, and strategies for assertive body language. They also provide exercises and activities to enhance your assertiveness.

MindTools - : MindTools provides comprehensive resources and tips on assertiveness, including techniques to help you become more assertive in different situations. They also offer quizzes and exercises to assess and enhance your assertiveness skills.

If you're interested in learning more about how to find your voice and be assertive, I encourage you to use the Google search box to explore the topic further.

References

Ayhan D, Seki Öz H. Effect of assertiveness training on the nursing students' assertiveness and self-esteem levels: Application of hybrid education in COVID-19 pandemic. Nurs Forum. 2021;56(4):807-815. doi:10.1111/nuf.12610

Pipas, Maria & Jaradat, Mohammad. (2010). Assertive Communication Skills. Annales Universitatis Apulensis Series Oeconomica. 2. 17-17. 10.29302/oeconomica.2010.12.2.17.

Assertiveness" target="_blank">Alberti, R. E., & Emmons, M. L. (1970). Your perfect right: A guide to assertive behavior.

Discover practical tips, exercises, and mindfulness practices that target anger management, emotional regulation, and communication skills. Start your journey towards a healthier and happier life today with our guide on how to cure anger issues.

• Namaste

• The Benefits and Drawbacks of Expressing Anger: Is It Ever Appropriate?

• The Root Causes of Anger: Identifying the Triggers for a Healthier Lifestyle

• The Long-Term Effects of Anger: Busting the Myths and Overcoming the Costs

• Techniques for Managing Anger: Tried-and-Tested Methods for Self-Control and Emotional Regulation

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

Why can the relationships closest to us bring out the worst sides of us?

For much of my life, I have held the belief that anger is a pointless and destructive coping management technique.....an emotion that serves no purpose and is best avoided at all costs.

Being with my partner for the last 8 years, however, has meant I've had to challenge that belief..... Don't get me wrong, I love him very much but catch us on the wrong day and you would think that we're sworn enemies and yes we don't argue very often but when we do we go all out.  

This used to worry me a lot back in the day. I would question whether these arguments were a reflection on the state of our relationship but I've come to realise is that these arguments were not about our lack of love for each other but simply 2 different people with 2 different styles of communicating trying to find a common ground where we both felt heard and understood....... and being honest sometimes when one of us would do something really stupid we probably deserved a bit of retribution directed our way.

I've also realised It's not just us either. I see these ideas every day in the therapy workplace with my clients and listening to their stories about relationships..... Some of them have had real damage inflicted upon them by others and so the anger they feel is completely warranted and justified. If it were me I would feel the same way (Kassinove & Tafrate, 2002).

So this is the focus of this week's blog. If you let me I would like to share with you my thoughts and knowledge on the topic of Anger. We'll explore Its complicated nature, the reasons why we get angry when it's appropriate to feel the way we do and how to cure anger issues when we need to learn healthier ways of dealing with the emotion.

The Benefits And Drawbacks Of Expressing Anger: Is It Ever Appropriate?

Working as a Counsellor for the last 8 years and listening to others talk in therapy about their abuse and trauma I've come to understand how anger can be great as a coping management technique. For some people and what they've been through getting angry is a way for them to take back control, fight back and become empowered to find ways through their situation.

We also can experience anger collectively and on a much larger scale. In today's, we live in a society where injustice runs rife (DiGiuseppe & Tafrate, 2007) and the people in power act in ways that are harmful and unjust and the only way to keep them in check is to fight back.....This is never more true with the fight for gay and lesbian equality. We have never been gifted our rights voluntarily, we've had to fight for every single piece of equality that we have.... and the fight continues.

But.....

I think there is a very fine line between anger being useful or damaging.... Constantly living in a bubble of anger every day not only damages our mental health, but has an effect on our physical health and the relationships we have with others so developing the right tools and techniques to harness the power of anger for positive change and self-improvement is essential.

The first step in this process is learning where anger comes from.

The Root Causes Of Anger: Identifying The Triggers For A Healthier Lifestyle

Anger is a natural human emotion but like all other emotions, there is a fine line between it being an appropriate response to a situation and it turning into something problematic.

What I've learnt listening to my clients in therapy who want to deal with their anger issues is that it has to start with self-awareness and understanding the triggers. If we want to get to a certain place we have to understand where we are starting from so learning what our triggers are is a very good place to start although everyone's experiences are unique there are some common ones that fit into everyone's story and these can include.

• Stress: Stress is one of the most common causes of anger. When we are under stress, our bodies release the hormone cortisol, which can trigger feelings of anger and frustration. This can be particularly true if we feel like we are not in control of the situation or if we feel like we are being treated unfairly.

• Unmet Needs: Another common cause of anger is unmet needs. When our basic needs for food, shelter, love, or safety are not met, we can become frustrated, irritable, and angry.

• Perceived Threats: Perceived threats are another common cause of anger. When we feel like we are being threatened or that our safety is at risk, we can become angry and defensive.

• Lack of Control: Feeling like we are not in control of a situation can also trigger anger especially if we feel like we are being forced to do something against our will or are being manipulated or controlled by someone else.

• Past Experiences: If we have experienced trauma or abuse in the past, we may be more likely to become angry in certain situations if we are reminded of our past experiences in some way.

The Long-Term Effects Of Anger: Busting The Myths And Overcoming The Costs

Anger is a natural human emotion that can be triggered by various situations, events, and experiences. While anger can be a healthy and normal response to certain situations, it can also become problematic when it is not managed effectively. In this chapter, we will discuss the effects of anger and how it can impact our lives. The most common effects Anger has on us are;

• Physical Effects: When we feel angry, our bodies release adrenaline and other stress hormones, which can cause physical symptoms like increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and tense muscles.

• Increased risk of heart disease: Anger can cause stress on the heart, increasing the risk of heart disease.

• Weakened immune system: Anger can weaken the immune system, making us more susceptible to illnesses.

• Digestive problems: Anger can cause digestive problems such as indigestion, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), and acid reflux.

• Insomnia: Anger can make it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep, leading to insomnia.

• Increased blood pressure: Anger can cause a temporary increase in blood pressure, which can be harmful to our health in the long term.

• Mental and Emotional Effects: Anger can also impact our mental and emotional well-being. The mental and emotional effects of anger may include:

• Anxiety and depression: Anger can contribute to anxiety and depression, making it difficult to manage our emotions.

• Low self-esteem: Anger can cause us to feel bad about ourselves and our abilities, leading to low self-esteem.

• Relationship problems: Anger can cause problems in our relationships with others, leading to conflict and tension.

• Reduced problem-solving abilities: Anger can make it difficult to think clearly and solve problems effectively.

• Risk-taking behaviors: Anger can lead to risk-taking behaviours, such as substance abuse, reckless driving, or aggression.

Techniques for Managing Anger: Tried-and-Tested Methods For Self-Control And Emotional Regulation

Dealing with anger can be a challenging experience that leaves us feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. But, the good news is that there are many effective anger coping mechanisms that can help us manage our emotions in a healthy way (DiGiuseppe, & Tafrate, 2011) In this section, I want to share with you some tips and tricks I've learnt over the years that will hopefully help you in your situation. Some of them we can reflect on, some we can practice on and some we can simply just incorporate into our daily life.

• Take a Timeout: When you feel yourself becoming angry, it's important to step back from the situation and take a timeout. Removing yourself and going for a walk, breathing fresh air, listening to music, or engaging in any other activity that you find calming can help you refocus and calm down

• Breathing techniques for anger: Deep breathing can help regulate your heart rate and reduce the intensity of your anger. The key is to focus on your breath, inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Try to inhale deeply into your stomach and feel your belly expand. Then, exhale slowly and feel your belly deflate.

• Use humour: Humor can be a powerful tool in diffusing tense situations and reducing feelings of anger. Try using a lighthearted joke or making light of the situation to help ease the tension.

• Identify Anger triggers: It's essential to identify the triggers that cause your anger. Knowing what sets you off can help you address it before it spirals out of control. This requires self-reflection and introspection. You may notice that certain events, people, or situations are likely to trigger your rage. Once you know what they are, you can create a plan to avoid them or manage them better.

• Improve your communication skills: Anger can often stem from misunderstandings or miscommunications. By improving your communication skills, you can reduce the chances of misunderstandings and diffuse tense situations before they escalate.

• Write a letter (but don't send it): Sometimes, when we're feeling angry, we want to express our thoughts and feelings at the moment. However, sending a message in the heat of the moment can often make things worse. Instead, try writing a letter expressing your thoughts and feelings, but don't send it. This can be a therapeutic way to express your emotions without the risk of causing more damage.

• Develop healthy coping mechanisms: When you feel angry, it can be tempting to lash out or engage in destructive behaviours like substance abuse. However, these behaviours only provide temporary relief and can make the problem worse in the long run. Instead, try developing healthy coping mechanisms like exercise, meditation, or talking to a trusted friend or family member.

• Chewing gum: Believe it or not, chewing gum can help reduce feelings of anger and frustration. Research has shown that the physical act of chewing can help release tension and stress, which can help calm you down.

• Take a cold shower: Taking a cold shower may not sound like the most pleasant experience, but it can be an effective way to cool down and reduce feelings of anger. The shock of cold water can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which can help reduce stress and tension.

Final Thoughts

Reflecting on this blog 2 things stand out to me. The first is how I've learnt that sometimes Anger is OK and it can be used in a very positive way and the second is a theme that runs throughout this website and what I write, and that is Acceptance.

It is only through acceptance of our lives and ourselves that we can start to deal with whatever issues we have..... When we resist and deny our reality, we limit our ability to learn from our experiences and make positive changes in our lives

As always, If you enjoyed this blog please share it with your friends on your socials. Additionally, I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback about my posts and if you like them or not.

Bye for now

More More More

angermanagementresource.com - This website offers a variety of free resources to help individuals learn how to manage their anger, including worksheets, articles, and tips.

mind.org.uk - Mind is a mental health charity in the UK that provides information and resources about a variety of mental health topics, including anger. Their website offers information about managing anger and how to get help if you are struggling with anger issues.

Anger" target="_blank">Amazon books and Audibooks on Anger - Amazon offers a range of resources related to anger management, such as books, workbooks, and DVDs.

If you're interested in learning more about how to deal with anger issues, I encourage you to use the Google search box to explore the topic further. Simply type in "Dealing With Anger" or a specific aspect of the topic you'd like to learn more about, and you'll find a wealth of resources and information to help deepen your understanding. Happy searching!

References

Kassinove, H., & Tafrate, R.C. (2002). Anger management: The complete treatment guidebook for practitioners. New York: Impact Publishers.

DiGiuseppe, R.A., & Tafrate, R.C. (2011). Anger management: A practical guide. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

DiGiuseppe, R.A., & Tafrate, R.C. (2007). Understanding anger disorders. New York: Oxford University Press.

Unveiling the power of vulnerability in today's world: Discover surprising benefits that foster deeper connections, personal growth, and overall well-being. Embrace vulnerability and thrive in an increasingly competitive society.

• Namaste

• The Ultimate Guide To What Being Vulnerable Is

• The Benefits Of Vulnerability: Personal Growth Through Vulnerability

• What Holds Us Back: Addressing The Stigma Around Vulnerability

• Embracing Vulnerability for Better Mental Health

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

Have you ever stumbled upon something that made you question your entire life?

Well that's what happened to me when I came across the infamous "Red Pill" movement and it certainly made me feel a type of way.

I was intrigued by their philosophy....... the idea that men have been systematically oppressed by society and must therefore "wake up" and reclaim their power.

At the forefront of this movement is Andrew Tate, a former kickboxing champion and entrepreneur who has managed to gain a huge following online preaching the virtues of masculinity and the old school traditional gender roles. He advocates for men to embrace their natural dominance and aggression, believing that these qualities are essential to achieving success in all areas of life. He denounces any view of masculinity that might be considered "soft" or "feminine," arguing that it is a man's duty to be strong, assertive, and unyielding in his pursuits.

While I found some of their arguments compelling, especially their views on taking ownership of our lives and the benefits of exercise I was also unsettled by the way they seemed to dehumanize women and reject the idea of equality.

At its core, the Red Pill movement see's dating as a transactional affair governed by a 'sexual marketplace', where men must assert their dominance and value in order to attract women.

They believe that it is their role to be the providers and protectors in the relationship and in return the women should adhere to their traditional roles as nurturers and house wife's.

I don't know about you but that way of looking at dating and love is very different from my experience...... especially as a gay man.

We, gays, don't face the same pressures and expectations of masculinity that straight men do and we are allowed a freedom of expression to explore who we are, how we think and how we feel..... and I don't think straight men are allowed to do the same and in my opinion anybody who isn't allowed to acknowledge what they are feeling, experiencing and being ok with that vunerabilty does far more damage to their mental health than they would bottling it up...... the exact opposite to what Andrew Tate and the red pill movement claim that it does.

So in this blog, I'd like to talk about that. I'd like to share with you my own thoughts and feelings on why not only is vulnerability OK but also explain what exactly are the surprising benefits of being vulnerable in today's world.

I hope you enjoy

The Ultimate Guide To What Being Vulnerable Is

Vulnerability means allowing yourself to be exposed and honest about your emotions, thoughts, and experiences. It's about being true to who you are, even in the face of judgement and rejection. (Brown, 2010)

I see it in my clients every day..... The difficulty they have in sharing and showing who they really are BUT the truth is It is essential to embrace vulnerability to promote healing, learning, and personal growth..... To progress, we must first accept where we currently stand, which may involve admitting we need help or we are not okay so contrary to what Andrew Tate believes, taking accountability and ownership of our lives is the very definition of courageous.

The Benefits Of Vulnerability: Personal Growth Through Vulnerability

Though it may feel uneasy, vulnerability is crucial for personal development. By embracing openness and honesty with ourselves and those around us we can start to receive the gifts that vulnerability can bring. Below we will explore the benefits of being vulnerable (Morry, Kito & Przelomski, 2018) and how it can aid us in reaching the very best of our true selves.

• Helps Build Stronger Relationships

By sharing your emotions and thoughts with others, you create deeper connections with them. When we show our vulnerable side, it can make others feel comfortable sharing their own vulnerabilities. This helps to build trust and promote intimacy in relationships.

• Encourages Personal Growth

Being vulnerable allows us to confront our fears, insecurities, and weaknesses – often things that hold us back in life. By facing them, we can learn from our experiences and push ourselves to achieve personal growth.

• Builds Resilience

When we’re vulnerable, we’re taking a risk and even if things don’t go as we hoped there's always a lesson to learn from the experience where we can come back even stronger than before.

• Supports Emotional Intelligence

Vulnerability allows us to develop a better understanding of our emotions, and those of others. It can help us see the truth in ourselves and others and that awareness allows us to better respond effectively to our own and other people's needs and feelings.

• Helps Us To Stay True To Ourselves

The truth is In a world where opinions and beliefs are often not based in reality, vulnerability presents us with the opportunity to remain authentic to our values, passions, and goals. Through this authenticity, we open ourselves up to a stronger sense of self-worth, resilience, and contentment.

Vulnerability encourages us to deal with our problems head-on and in doing so we develop a stronger sense of self. This can help us build healthier relationships both with ourselves and others resulting in improved mental health, wellbeing and life satisfaction.

What Holds Us Back: Addressing The Stigma Around Vulnerability

In our journey towards personal growth and meaningful connections, there's one thing that often holds us back: the stigma surrounding vulnerability (Hess & Fischer, 2014). Society has ingrained in us the idea that being vulnerable is a weakness, something to be avoided or hidden. This fear of judgement and rejection can stop us from being honest and opening up about our emotions.

Whilst this may seem like an easy and safe option for some, unfortunately, that choice comes at a cost. By silencing our true selves, we build barriers that hinder our ability to connect with others, leading to difficulty in forming deep, meaningful relationships, and feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Moreover, we also miss out on the chances for personal growth and to develop the skills needed to cope with life's challenges as well as to live a happier and more fulfilling life.

So It's essential to acknowledge and understand the stigma around vulnerability. By doing so, we can work towards reducing it and creating a more tolerant and accepting society.

Embracing Vulnerability For Better Mental Health

I get it..... I know it's not easy to put yourself out there but it's an important step on the road to peace and happiness. If you would like some help in navigating that journey, here are some easy steps that you can incorporate into your daily life to help you feel more comfortable with vulnerability (Kashdan, 2010)

• Identify Your Emotions

Carve out some time to reflect on the situations that cause discomfort when feeling vulnerable. When we're aware of our triggers, we can prepare and learn coping strategies better.

• Accept Yourself

Recognize that vulnerability is a part of being human, and there's nothing wrong with feeling and expressing your emotions. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, and if needed, seek the help of a mental health professional when you feel you need support

• Practice Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for understanding why you feel a certain way and what might trigger certain emotions. Engage in activities that allow for self-reflection, such as journaling, meditating, or talking with a supportive therapist.

• Start Small

Begin with small acts of vulnerability, such as sharing a personal story with someone you trust. It is essential to keep in mind that being vulnerable doesn't require you to share everything, especially with those you don't fully trust

• Cultivate Self-Compassion

Embracing vulnerability starts with being kind to yourself. It takes courage to confront difficult emotions and experiences, and you should give yourself credit for doing so. Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with empathy, kindness, and understanding.

• Share With A Trusted Person

Sharing your emotions with a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional can help you feel more connected and supported. Start small by sharing your thoughts and feelings about everyday experiences, and then gradually move towards sharing more vulnerable emotions.

• Surround Yourself With Support

Seek out and lean into relationships in which you can be vulnerable. Having people around you who validate your feelings while providing a safe space to share your experiences is so critical.

Remember that change takes time, and setbacks will happen. Trust that you're on the right path and have faith in yourself. Stay focused, persistent, and dedicated and I promise you'll see the results that you're aiming for!

Final Thoughts

I get that it can be challenging to face our reflections in the mirror, especially when we're struggling. It can feel impossible and overwhelming to accept how far we've fallen and how much further we need to go BUT why not take that leap of faith... The results might just surprise you.

As always, If you found this post helpful, consider sharing it with your loved ones who might benefit from it. Additionally, feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts or feedback on this topic.

Bye xx

More More More

If you want some more advice on vulnerability, feel free to use the search engine provided below. You can find a wealth of blogs, articles, and other resources to help you on your journey towards embracing vulnerability. Remember, there is strength in vulnerability, and taking the first step towards embracing your vulnerability is a courageous and positive step towards a more fulfilling and authentic life.

References

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing

Morry, M. M., Kito, M., & Przelomski, A. (2018). The benefits of being vulnerable: Disclosure and implicit liking in initial interactions. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(10), 1337-1356

Hess, U., & Fischer, A. (2014). Emotional and Social Consequences of Venting and Not Venting Emotions: Should We Always Vent? In Oxford Handbook of Emotion, Social Cognition, and Problem Solving in Adulthood, Jennifer S. Beer, ed. (Oxford University Press, NY, USA), pp. 181–199

Kashdan, T. B. (2010). The Curious Paradox of Vulnerability: Embracing Weakness to Become Stronger. Review of General Psychology, 14(2), 137-147

• Namaste

• What is a Tribe?

• Why Your Inner Circle Matters: Understanding the Power of Your Tribe

• Identifying and Eliminating Toxic People in Your Inner Circle

• Finding Like-minded Individuals for Your Tribe

• Cultivating positivity within your inner circle.

• Final Thoughts

• More More More

• References

Namaste

Hello everyone, I hope you’re doing well..... Before I dive into this blog, I want to share some news. I have recently added a new section on the website called the 360 Wellness Hub. This section offers a broad range of self-help resources, therapy services, and downloadable books for your mental health and wellness. I would love it if you would go and have a look and let me know what you think.

Now, let's talk about this blog.......

How many mates do you have? Are they Nice?

Have you ever wondered how the people we surround ourselves with impact our lives? Think about it, if we surround ourselves with people who bring value and uplift our spirits, what kind of life do you think we will create? Conversely, if we surround ourselves with toxic individuals who pull us down, what kind of life will we lead?

Where do your mates sit on that line?

Choosing the right people in our lives is crucial, and in this blog post, I will be discussing the power of your inner circle So, if you're interested in discovering the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals, this blog post is for you.

What is a Tribe?

A tribe is a group of people who share common goals, interests, beliefs, or values and have a sense of community and belonging. It can provide a sense of support, encouragement, and purpose in life. There are different types of tribes that one can have:

• Family: This is usually the first tribe we belong to. It includes parents, siblings, grandparents, and extended family members. Family provides unconditional love, support, and a sense of belonging.

• Friends: Friends are the people we choose to surround ourselves with. They may share common interests or experiences and offer emotional and social support. Friends can be a source of inspiration, fun, and comfort.

• Professional: This tribe includes colleagues, mentors, and advisors who share similar career interests, skills, and experiences. It provides opportunities for networking, skill-building, and professional growth.

• Interest-based: This tribe includes people who share a common interest or hobby such as sports, music, arts, or volunteering. It provides a sense of belonging, enjoyment, and opportunities to learn and grow.

Having a strong tribe is essential for personal and interpersonal development. It provides the necessary support, motivation, and guidance needed to achieve our goals and overcome challenges.

Why Your Inner Circle Matters: Understanding the Power of Your Tribe

The people you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your personal growth and development. That's why choosing the right inner circle matters so much!

Think about it - if you spend a lot of time with negative, uninspired people, how do you think it's going to affect you? Chances are, you'll start to feel a little down and uninspired too.

On the other hand, if you surround yourself with motivated, positive people, you're much more likely to feel inspired to reach your goals and tackle new challenges.

Your inner circle can also impact how you see yourself. If the people in your inner circle don't believe in your potential or your dreams, it's likely that you may start to believe it too. On the other hand, if you surround yourself with people who believe in you and your potential, you'll be more likely to take risks and reach your full potential.

In short, your inner circle can make or break your personal growth journey. That's why it's important to choose your tribe wisely.

The process of building a positive inner circle starts by choosing people who share the same values and interests as you. These are the people who will motivate and inspire you, not just in words but also with their actions. It's essential to surround yourself with those that will challenge and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. In doing so, you'll create a supportive environment that will help you to achieve your dreams and become the best version of yourself.

Identifying and Eliminating Toxic People in Your Inner Circle

Toxic people can have a significant negative impact on our mental health. They can bring drama, negativity, and stress into our lives. They may make us feel anxious, drained, or even depressed. It's important to recognize the signs of a toxic person so that we can take steps to protect ourselves.

What does a toxic person look like?

Some signs of a toxic person include constant criticism, judgment, or complaining. They may also be manipulative, selfish, or dishonest. These behaviours can erode our self-esteem, lead to increased stress, and even trigger mental health issues.

Recognizing the signs of toxic people in our inner circle can be challenging, and it's even harder to take action to eliminate them. However, creating a safe and supportive environment for our mental and emotional well-being is critical. We may need to set boundaries, distance ourselves, or even cut ties with toxic people entirely.

Recognizing and eliminating toxic people in our inner circle is essential for our mental and emotional well-being. Look for the signs and take action to protect yourself.

Finding Like-minded Individuals for Your Tribe

As a mental health blogger, I understand the importance of having a support system that truly understands and uplifts you. While it can feel daunting to find like-minded individuals who share the same values and beliefs as you, it's important to remember that we all have a tribe out there waiting for us.

One way to connect with others is to seek out online communities related to mental health or your particular areas of interest. This can be a great way to connect with people who understand what you're going through and can offer valuable advice, support, and encouragement.

Similarly, attending local events or meetups related to your interests is a great way to also meet new people who share these same passions. Often, there are organizations that offer support groups, workshops, or events related to mental health that can be a great way to connect with others.

It's important to remember that it's okay to take your time finding people who align with your values and needs. Building a strong support system takes effort and time, but it's worth it to have the kind of people who uplift, support, and encourage you through tough times.

So, if you're feeling alone or isolated, remember that there are people out there who want to connect with you and support you. Be open to new experiences and take steps to connect with others in ways that feel authentic and true to yourself. Your tribe is out there - it's just around the corner.

Importance of Diversity in Your Inner Circle for Growth and Innovation

It's easy to surround ourselves with people who are similar to us, but diversity is key for growth and innovation.

When we surround ourselves with people from different backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives, we're exposed to new ideas and ways of thinking. We're encouraged to step outside of our comfort zones and broaden our horizons, leading to personal growth and creativity.

Additionally, a diverse group of individuals brings a variety of skills, experiences, and knowledge to the table. When working on a project or problem-solving, having a diverse group of individuals can lead to more innovative solutions.

Not only does a diverse inner circle benefit us individually, but it also benefits our communities and society as a whole. When we have open and honest discussions with people who have different backgrounds and experiences, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and equitable world.

Of course, diversity isn't just about race and ethnicity. It also includes diversity in gender, sexual orientation, age, religion, ability, and more. When we acknowledge and celebrate all forms of diversity, we create a more welcoming and inclusive world for everyone.

So, take a moment to reflect on your inner circle. Are you surrounded by people who are similar to you, or do you have a diverse group of individuals in your circle? If not, don't worry! There are plenty of ways to meet and connect with people from different backgrounds and perspectives.

Cultivating Positivity Within Your Inner Circle

Have you ever noticed how the people we surround ourselves with can have a big impact on our mood and outlook on life? That's why it's so important to cultivate positivity within our inner circle.

One way to promote positivity is to surround ourselves with people who have a positive attitude and outlook on life. When we spend time with individuals who radiate positivity, it can be contagious. Their energy can lift us up and help us approach life with a more positive mindset.

Another way to cultivate positivity is to practice gratitude within our inner circle. Taking the time to express our appreciation for the people around us and the good things in our lives can help us focus on the positive aspects of life instead of dwelling on the negatives.

It's also important to be mindful of our own attitude and behaviour towards others. When we approach our interactions with kindness and positivity, we're more likely to attract positive and uplifting people into our lives.

Of course, positivity doesn't mean ignoring the challenges and difficulties we may face in life. It's about approaching these challenges with a resilient and positive mindset and having a supportive inner circle that stands by our side through it all.

So, take a moment to reflect on your inner circle. Are the people around you promoting positivity, or are they bringing negative energy into your life? If it's the latter, don't be afraid to make changes and seek out individuals who radiate positivity and kindness.

Final Thoughts

I remember when I made a decision to cut toxic people out of my life. It was after coming to terms with the realisation that some people I had in my life didn't want the best for me and would actively participate in my failings.

It was a hard thing to accept but on the other side now only having people in my life that are going to add value is a really comforting position to be in.

Don't let toxic friendships take over your life, share this blog with your friends and together we can create healthier relationships that bring positivity and joy to our lives.

Bye for now x

More More More

If you want a little bit more I've left some links below for you to do a deep dive...Enjoy

Tiny Buddha: This website provides insights into the effects of toxic friendships and offers advice on how to recover from them. It discusses ways to identify toxic behaviours and set boundaries to manage them. It also provides perspective on how to build strong and supportive relationships.

Mind Body Green: This website offers an introspective and holistic approach to dealing with toxic friendships. It examines how these relationships can affect one's energy, emotions, and overall well-being. It further suggests techniques and practices that can help individuals heal and move forward from such relationships.

Bustle: This website provides practical advice on how to confront and address toxic friendships head-on. It discusses the benefits of being honest and upfront in relationships and offers tips on how to end unhealthy relationships while still protecting oneself. It also provides resources for seeking professional help if necessary

If you're interested in learning more about the importance of choosing the right people around us, I encourage you to use the Google search box to explore the topic further. Simply type in "Toxic Friends" or a specific aspect of the topic you'd like to learn more about, and you'll find a wealth of resources and information to help deepen your understanding. Happy searching!

References

• "What to Do About Toxic Friends" by Candy Sagon on AARP: This article talks about the signs of a toxic friendship, how it affects a person, and how to deal with it.

• "5 Types of Toxic Friends You Need to Ditch" by Jen Glantz on Healthline: This article identifies five different types of toxic friends, and it offers strategies to deal with them effectively.

• "How to Deal With a Toxic Friend" by Andrea Bonior on Psychology Today: This article discusses how to identify toxic friends and how to deal with them. It also suggests ways to maintain healthy friendships

The personal journey of living with schizophrenia and the unexpected lessons in happiness it brought. I delve into the depths of my struggles, hitting rock bottom, Suicide and discovering resilience. This blog offers a candid exploration of mental health, providing insights and hope for those navigating similar challenges.

Today, I'm taking a leap of faith and opening up about a part of myself that I rarely discuss. It's a journey that has shaped me for the past two decades—living with schizophrenia. This illness has been a constant companion in my life, to the point where it's hard to separate myself from it. While I don't carry any shame about my struggles, I'm very aware of the misunderstandings and stigma that surround this condition.

In this blog, I want to share the story that led me to hit rock bottom. It was during this that I found myself standing at the crossroads between life and death. Little did I know that choosing to continue living would become the turning point—a benchmark for my pursuit of happiness.

In the beginning, the impact of schizophrenia was all-consuming, shattering every aspect of my life. It felt like a bizarre and distorted reality, where voices haunted me and delusions took hold of my mind. I created a narrative in which people around me, even my friends and housemates, were plotting to kill me. The hallucinations were so vivid that I would hear them talking about it and It was as clear and as real as me writing this blog...... a very unusual experience

It was relentless, I was in constant fight mode for six long months, pushing me to the breaking point. I got kicked out of college, faced eviction, and the delusions kept intensifying.... Feeling trapped and fearing for my life, I had no choice but to move back home.

Weirdly the first couple of weeks after leaving were strangely liberating—I felt like a real-life James Bond, having escaped a sinister plot against me by people I had never even met but the respite was short-lived, as the voices returned telling me that " I had been found"

I spiralled down and down, realising just how worthless I must be if entire communities and friends wanted me dead.... I couldn't cope, I had nothing left to give so after a few beers and a trip to the shops to get as many bottles of paracetamol as I could get my hands on I decided suicide was the only option. My "last moments" were to be swallowing a bunch of pills all whilst hallucinating that I was hearing my parents outside my room laughing at me whilst I was doing it..... What a piece of shit I must have been.

Sitting there, waiting for the pills to take effect, I found myself faced with two choices: to live and learn how to deal with whatever I thought I was dealing with or to die...... It really was that simple.

In that moment my life began, my life's journey in mental health recovery.... I took myself downstairs and told my parents what I had just done and after an overnight stay in the hospital, I was referred to a Psychiatrist where I would learn all about hearing voices and Szchiphrenia.

It's taken me two decades to come to terms with what happened and find some semblance of peace. Becoming a counsellor has been the foundation in my healing allowing me to make sense of my past and find purpose in helping others. In a full circle moment, schizophrenia has become not just the cause of my darkest moments but also the catalyst for a newfound sense of purpose and resilience.

Reflecting on that suicide attempt, I have come to understand that anything above rock bottom has become a reason to be joyful. My happiness is a choice and even in the darkest of places there is always a little glimmer of hope.

Final Thoughts

I don't know exactly what I want to get out of sharing this experience with you but I guess if it shows anyone that there's always hope no matter how bad it made seem then it's a job well done.

Discover the transformative power of sharing your story, embracing your whole self, and breaking free from generational trauma. In this blog, we explore the profound impact these processes can have on personal growth and healing.

Bryce Seto

Telling My story

Our Untold Stories Own Us

Final Thoughts

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References

Is mental health A universal concept?

That answer became a little clearer to me last week when a writer reached out to me asking if he could share his message on my blog..... I was happy too.

Bryce Seto

Bryce Seto (he/him/his) is a writer, actor, revenue executive, and mental health advocate. Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, he has a mission to utilize the power of storytelling to combat mental illness and normalize the stigma of vulnerability among men and within Asian communities. He is the father of two daughters and is currently completing his MBA at Ivey Business School.

In this blog, Bryce is going to share his thoughts on empowering vulnerability and the importance of being authentic and owning your life. He talks about the shame he felt dealing with mental illness and how he had to fight cultural pressures to be silent.

For me, reading his story was a real insight into how other cultures see mental illness and its treatment.... Enjoy

Telling My Story

I could hear the rain trick-trick-trickling on the roof of the garage.

I set up my laptop, and hot-spotted internet from my phone. It was the best I could do, given the circumstances. Mina was inside with our screaming kids, and I never could miss a therapy session.

The opposite action, right?

I opened up my Zoom. She was already there, right on time as always. Smiles. Pleasantries. Quite the weather, eh?

“Okay, you ready?” She never let me avoid it for too long. “Just like last time. Dive in.”

Deep breathe. I could hear a squirrel scattering above me now on the tin roof.

“Okay, so I remember I was…”

I began pulling from my memory, patching together whatever events, images, or feelings I could access.

We did that for eight weeks in a row. I sat there talking into my Zoom screen from my garage, bedroom, or car — anywhere I could have privacy during COVID and I told my most shameful and traumatic story, one I’ve told to almost nobody.

We’d log in once a week and I’d tell it.

The same memory.

The same story.

Over and over and over again.

At first, I thought my therapist was insane. How could talking about something terrible that happened in the past have any impact on the present? It was history. I had moved on. I was across the country and had my own family, my own life.

What was the point?

But I trusted her. We worked together for months now, and her techniques were helping, so I figured why not. I was struggling with feeling vulnerable and managing my insecurities, and, at the very least, this was a safe environment to try something new.

And then something surprising happened.

What started as a hard, nearly impossible, tale to tell, eventually became easier. Each time I told it I had a better handle on the words. The lump in my throat softened. I had more ownership of it.

I had more ownership of myself.

I became more me. It was almost like I had been living someone else’s story all this time. And when I told my own story, that was truly only mine, I became me. When I stood in my truth as myself, I became more present.

I got my power back.

Our Untold Stories Own Us empowering vulnerability

When we hide from our stories, or pretend our struggle doesn’t exist, we give it power. Our struggle owns us. It prevents us from being able to access our whole selves, to be fully present in the world through our work, art, and relationships.

Denying our stories continues the legacy of generational trauma. We hide in the same shame. We tell the same lies. We make the same mistakes.

This is very prevalent in many cultures. It is in mine. Chinese culture is about honour and respect. It’s about avoiding anything that could bring shame to your family. It’s about denying instead of feeling.

Ever since I could remember I was trained to deny my story. I wasn’t allowed to be sad. Or scared. Or vulnerable. I had to man up, be strong for my little brother, don’t show any sign of weakness. I was never given the chance to be able to tell my story. My real story. I was forced to tell a version of a story that wasn’t really mine. The one that was heavily edited to erase anything shameful.

Like I’m sure most parents do, Mina and I talk a lot about how we should raise our daughters. As our kids grow older, we realize that most stuff you stressed about when they were babies become trivial. Yeah, they probably eat too many GMOs and have too much screen time and probably co-sleep in our bed too much. But the one thing that’s always been important to us is their psychological safety to feel and explore their emotions wholeheartedly, and for us to do everything we can to not pass down generational trauma that we’ve endured from our families.

More than anything, that’s been my motivation. That’s why I would sit in my dusty-ass garage and repeat my awful story. I needed to own my whole story to take back my ownership.

Because if I truly wanted to write a new story for myself and my family, I needed to stop hiding from my old one.

Final Thoughts

I loved this and I loved his message..... It doesn't matter who you are, where you are or who you're surrounded by, mental health touches everyone.

As always I hope you enjoyed the blog and if it helps anyone take back control of their life it's a job well done.

I would love to hear your stories, so feel free to leave your comments, questions and feedback below.

(Ps) Why not go check Bryce out and show him some love..... I've left his socials below.

Blog: www.bryceseto.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/bryceseto/

More More More

If you want to check out more mental health coping strategies I've listed some really good places you can start with.

This Is My Brave is an organization dedicated to ending the stigma surrounding mental health by providing a platform for individuals to share their personal stories.

The Unmasked Project The Unmasked Project is an online platform that allows individuals to anonymously share their mental health stories. It provides a safe and supportive space for people to express their experiences, challenges, and triumphs.

If you're interested in learning more about how important Authenticity and Acceptance are OR you want to hear more about Bryce Seto you can use the Google search engine below to explore different resources that can help you deepen your understanding of the coping mechanisms out there.

References

Mojtabai, R., & Olfson, M. (2004). "Sociodemographic Differences in Antidepressant Use Among 20 Million Americans: Implications for Destigmatization of Depression." Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 65(7), 946-951.

Clement, S., et al. (2015). "What is the Impact of Mental Health-Related Stigma on Help-Seeking? A Systematic Review of Quantitative and Qualitative Studies." Psychological Medicine, 45(1), 11-27.

Barney, L. J., et al. (2006). "Stigma About Depression and its Impact on Help-Seeking Intentions." Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 40(1), 51-54.

From A to Z: Coping Strategies for Everyday Mental Wellness is a comprehensive guide to various coping mechanisms that can help improve mental health. Discover effective coping strategies and techniques to enhance your mental well-being today.

Little By Little

An A To Z Of Coping Strategies For Everyday Mental Wellness

Final Thoughts

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References

Little By Little

It is truly the little things that can make the biggest difference in how we look after our mental health. I think most of us have at some point neglected our mental health until it got so far that we couldn't ignore it anymore eh!

What if there was an easy way to stop this though? What if there were simple things we could do on the daily that needed little effort but protected our mental health so we hardly ever had to lets things get to far again?..... I know you didn't asked but I'm also glad you asked.,

In this blog, I'll share a comprehensive A to Z guide of mental health coping strategies (Seligman, 2011) that are easy to incorporate into our daily lives and that will promote a more positive and resilient mind-set leaving us better equipped to handle life's challenges.

By experimenting with different strategies (Fava & Tomba, 2009) we can find what works best for us and build a sustainable self-care routine that supports our mental health needs.

So.....

Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or just the everyday stresses of life, join me on this journey to prioritize your mental health and improve your overall well-being (Taylor & Stanton, 2007).

An A To Z Of Coping Strategies For Everyday Mental Wellness

A - Accept yourself: Accepting yourself as you are, with all your imperfections and flaws, is the foundation for good mental health. Self-acceptance can help you cultivate a positive self-image and reduce negative self-talk, which can lead to anxiety and depression. Practicing self-compassion is an important part of self-acceptance. Keywords: self-acceptance, positive self-image, self-compassion, negative self-talk, anxiety, depression.

B - Breathe: Deep breathing is a simple yet powerful coping strategy for reducing stress and anxiety. When you're feeling overwhelmed, taking a few deep breaths can help you calm down and feel more centered. Breathing exercises can be done anywhere, anytime, and can help you manage anxiety and panic attacks. Keywords: deep breathing, stress reduction, anxiety management, panic attacks.

C - Connect: Humans are social creatures, and social connections are crucial for good mental health. Building meaningful relationships with others can help you feel supported, loved, and understood. Whether it's spending time with family, friends, or joining a club or group, making an effort to connect with others can be a significant source of emotional and mental support. Keywords: social connections, meaningful relationships, emotional support, mental health.

D - Disconnect: In today's digital age, we're more connected than ever before, but this constant connection can also be a source of stress and anxiety. Taking time to unplug and disconnect from technology and social media can help you recharge and reduce stress. Set boundaries for your phone and social media use, and take a break from the constant notifications and updates. Keywords: digital detox, unplugging, social media break, stress reduction.

E - Exercise: Exercise is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. Regular exercise can help you reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and improve your overall mood and sense of well-being. Find an exercise that you enjoy, whether it's going for a walk, practicing yoga, or joining a sports team, and make it a regular part of your routine. Keywords: exercise, stress reduction, anxiety management, depression, mood improvement.

F - Focus on the present: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help you reduce stress, anxiety, and negative self-talk, and improve your overall well-being. Try incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine, such as meditation or simply taking a few moments to be present and aware of your surroundings. Keywords: mindfulness, present moment, stress reduction, anxiety management, negative self-talk, well-being.

G - Get enough sleep: Lack of sleep can have a significant impact on your mental health, causing irritability, mood swings, and difficulty concentrating. Making sleep a priority and getting enough restful sleep each night can help you feel refreshed and energized, and improve your overall mental health. Try setting a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and avoiding screens before bed to improve your sleep quality. Keywords: sleep, mental health, irritability, mood swings, concentration.

H - Help others: Helping others is a great way to boost your mental health and well-being. Volunteer your time and skills to help those in need, or simply perform small acts of kindness for those around you. Helping others can give you a sense of purpose, increase your self-esteem, and improve your social connections. Keywords: helping others, mental health, well-being, volunteering, acts of kindness, self-esteem.

I - Indulge in self-care: Incorporating self-care activities into your daily routine is a vital part of maintaining good mental health. Activities such as taking a relaxing bath, practicing yoga, or treating yourself to a favorite meal can help you relax and recharge. By indulging in self-care, you are showing yourself kindness and prioritizing your mental wellbeing.

J - Journal: Journaling is an excellent way to express your thoughts and feelings, helping you to process them and improve your mental health. Writing down your goals and aspirations, keeping track of your accomplishments, and reflecting on your day can help you gain clarity and perspective. Make time for journaling, and you may be surprised by the insight and self-awareness it can bring.

K - Keep learning: Learning new things keeps your mind active, engaged, and challenged, which can boost your mental health. Whether it's taking a course or learning a new hobby, challenging your brain can help you stay motivated and prevent boredom. Additionally, the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that comes with mastering a new skill can also improve your mental wellbeing.

L - Laugh: Laughter truly is the best medicine when it comes to mental health. It releases endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals, which can reduce stress and boost your mood. Spending time with people who make you laugh, watching a funny movie or TV show, or even just looking for the humor in everyday situations can all contribute to improved mental health.

M - Meditate: Meditation is a powerful tool for reducing stress and anxiety, improving focus and clarity, and promoting overall mental wellbeing. By sitting quietly and focusing on your breath, you can learn to quiet your mind and reduce the impact of negative thoughts and emotions. Even just a few minutes of meditation each day can make a significant difference in your mental health.

N - Nourish your body: A healthy body is essential for a healthy mind. Eating a balanced, nutritious diet can help you feel better physically and mentally. Foods that are rich in nutrients, such as whole grains, fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats, can help boost your energy and mood. Additionally, drinking plenty of water and limiting alcohol and caffeine can also support good mental health.

O - Optimize your environment: Your environment can have a significant impact on your mental health. Surround yourself with positive people, things that make you happy, and an environment that promotes relaxation and calm. Remove or reduce negative influences, such as clutter or people who bring you down. By creating a positive and supportive environment, you can promote good mental health and wellbeing.

P - Practice self-compassion: We often speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to anyone else. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness, patience, and understanding. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws, and learn to embrace them rather than beat yourself up over them. By practicing self-compassion, you can improve your self-esteem and promote better mental health.

Q - Quiet your mind: In today's fast-paced world, our minds are often bombarded with constant noise and distractions. It can be challenging to find a moment of peace and quiet. However, taking a break from the noise and chaos of everyday life is crucial for our mental health. Spend some time in silence to quiet your mind and improve mental clarity. It could be as simple as sitting in a quiet room for a few minutes or practicing meditation.

R - Relax: We all have different ways of relaxing. Some people prefer taking a warm bath, while others find solace in practicing yoga or mindfulness. Whatever your preference is, make sure to take time out of your day to relax. Engage in activities that help you unwind and reduce stress. Relaxation is an essential part of maintaining good mental health.

S - Spend Time In Nature: Nature has a calming effect on our minds and bodies. It helps us feel more grounded and connected to the world around us. Spending time in nature is a great way to reduce stress and improve mental health. Go for a walk in the park, take a hike in the woods, or spend a day at the beach to connect with nature.

T - Take Breaks: Taking regular breaks throughout the day is essential for mental health. When we work for extended periods without taking a break, our productivity and creativity suffer. Get up and move around, stretch, or take a quick walk to refresh your mind. Taking breaks helps us stay focused, engaged, and energized throughout the day.

U - Understand Your Emotions: Emotions are an essential part of being human. It's crucial to understand and acknowledge our emotions, both positive and negative. Don't suppress or ignore them, but instead learn to recognize and process them in a healthy way. Understanding our emotions helps us manage them more effectively and improves our overall mental wellbeing.

V - Visualize: Visualization is a powerful tool for improving mental wellbeing. Visualize success and positive outcomes to help you stay motivated and focused. Create a mental image of the person you want to become and the goals you want to achieve. Visualization can help you overcome obstacles and stay on track towards your desired outcomes.

W - Write: Writing is a great way to process your thoughts and emotions. Write down your feelings, goals, and aspirations to help you stay focused and motivated. Journaling can be a therapeutic and reflective exercise that helps us understand our emotions and work through challenges. Whether it's keeping a gratitude journal or a daily diary, writing is a powerful tool for mental health.

X - Examine Your Thoughts: Our thoughts have a significant impact on our mental wellbeing. Negative thoughts can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. Examine your thoughts and question them. Don't let negative thoughts dictate your mood or behavior. Practice positive self-talk and challenge negative self-talk to maintain a positive mind-set.

Y - Yearn For Growth: Growth and change are a natural part of life. Be open to growth and change and set goals that challenge and inspire you to become the best version of yourself. Embrace new opportunities and experiences, and don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Yearning for growth helps us stay motivated, engaged, and excited about life.

Z - Zero In On Self-Care: Self-care is essential for maintaining good mental health. It's easy to neglect self-care when we're busy or stressed, but taking care of ourselves should always be a priority. Schedule time each day for self-care activities that help you maintain your mental health and wellbeing. Whether it's taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones, make self-care a part of your daily routine.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, self-care is essential for mental health and overall wellbeing. By incorporating these A to Z self-care practices into your daily routine, you can help support your mental health and live a more fulfilling life (Antonovsky, 1987)......Remember to be kind to yourself, take breaks when needed, and make self-care a priority.

As always I hope you enjoyed the blog and if it helps anyone take back control of their life it's a job done.

I would love to hear from you, so feel free to leave your comments, questions and feedback below.

I'd love you to sign up to the mailing list so I can keep you updated about the latest news and stuff.... and please share this blog as well..... It would mean a lot

Bye x

More More More

If you want to check out more mental health coping strategies I've listed some really good places you can start with.

"HealthyPlace" Their blog features articles on various mental health topics, including coping strategies and personal stories from those living with mental illness.

"The Mighty" is one of my favourite mental health blogs offering endless amounts of resources focusing on mental health.

"The National Alliance on Mental Illness" offers a blog with articles on various mental health topics, including coping strategies for those living with mental illness.

If you're interested in learning more about coping strategies for mental health, there are numerous resources available to you. Use the Google search engine below to explore different resources that can help you deepen your understanding of the coping mechanisms out there. This can help support your daily Mental Health.

References

Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. New York: Free Press.

Fava, G. A., & Tomba, E. (2009). Increasing psychological well-being and resilience by psychotherapeutic methods. Journal of Personality, 77(6), 1903-1934.

Taylor, S. E., & Stanton, A. L. (2007). Coping resources, coping processes, and mental health. Annual review of clinical psychology, 3, 377-401.

Antonovsky, A. (1987). Unraveling the mystery of health: How people manage stress and stay well. Jossey-Bass.

Discover the power of boundaries as your secret weapon for a stronger, happier, and healthier mind. Prioritize self-care and improve your mental and emotional health today.

Contents

Personal Boundaries

Why Boundaries Matter p

Soundcloud Podcast About Boundaires

How To Set Boundaries

How To Maintain Boundaries

Final Thoughts

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References

Personal Boundaries

Have you ever asked yourself when is enough, enough?.... At what point does it go past the point of no return?

It's a conversation I had with myself a few years ago when I realized I had a hard time setting boundaries, especially when it came to saying "no" to family and friends.

In general I'd like to think that I've always been accommodating to others but at times it has felt less like being agreeable and more like being a bit of a doormat.... which I can tell you does absolutely nothing for a person's self-esteem.

Anyone else feel that way?

Over the last 6 years working as a therapist however, I have come to understand and appreciate the importance of setting boundaries (Kavčič & Kocjan, 2019).... I used to think prioritizing and putting myself first was selfish and rude but now I know it's actually do to with self-care and maintaining a happy and healthy mindset.

The bad news is that realizing this was the easy bit, putting it into practice, not so much which is why I'm writing this blog.....I'd love to share with all of you what I've learnt about setting boundaries not only working as a therapist but as someone who has struggled with saying no myself

Firstly, Why Boundaries Matter

As human beings, we have a natural inclination to please others and avoid conflict. It's easy to fall into the trap of saying "yes" to everyone's request that comes our way, even if it's not in our best interest. However, this can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed, resentful, and burnt out....This is where boundaries can help.

Boundaries are a way of defining and protecting our personal space, values, and time. They allow us to say "no" when necessary, and set limits on what we're willing to tolerate from others. Having healthy boundaries is essential for our emotional and mental well-being, and it can positively impact all areas of our lives - from our relationships to our work and personal growth.

Boundaries also help us to maintain our autonomy and sense of self. They allow us to define what's important to us, and protect those things from outside influences. This is especially important for those who may have a tendency to people-please or take on more than they can handle. By setting boundaries, we can protect our time and energy, and ensure that we're putting ourselves first when necessary.

For Example.....

Like most adults there just aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done so we make choices about what to prioritize. The question I have to ask myself, however, is why am I spending what limited free time I have choosing to do stuff that I don't like or want to do instead of spending time doing things I do want to do?.....

I don't know why it took me so long to realize that because it seems like a no brainer right?

Lastly, boundaries are essential for our personal growth and development. By setting boundaries, we can protect ourselves from negative influences or situations that may hold us back and as a result we can create spaces for ourselves to pursue our goals and passions, without feeling guilty or ashamed for doing so.

In summary, boundaries are an essential component of a healthy and fulfilling life and whilst it is uncomfortable to say "no" at first, setting healthy boundaries is ultimately an act of self-love that will benefit us in the long run.

Soundcloud Podcast About Boundaires

How To Set Boundaries

I'm not going to lie and say learning how to set boundaries was easy cos it wasn't.... At the beginning I was going against all of my natural instincts to people please, but over time, I learnt to identify my boundaries by reflecting on my values and needs in the different areas of my life....

The sort of questions (Cloud & Townsend, 2002) I was asking myself included ⬇️

• Reflect on your personal values and beliefs: This helped me identify what was most important to me and what I was willing to compromise on.

• Be honest and direct when communicating your boundaries: This was difficult for me at first, but I found that being clear and honest helped prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

• Be consistent in enforcing your boundaries: This has been a challenge for me, but I've learned that being consistent is key to establishing healthy boundaries in my relationships.

• Trust your instincts: Listening to my intuition has helped me recognize when my boundaries had been crossed and what to do about it.

• Practice self-care: Setting boundaries in the beginning was really stressful and very uncomfortable but I trusted in the process reminding myself why I was doing this and I would practice self-care and forgiveness for those moments when I was second guessing myself.

How To Maintain Boundaries

Maintaining your boundaries (Simon & Prasad, 2013) will be a lifelong commitment, and it can be challenging so here's a few things to keep an eye on that will help you stay on the path.... They worked for me.

• Be consistent: Consistency is key when it comes to maintaining boundaries. If you let others cross your boundaries once, they will think it's okay to do so again.

• Communicate clearly: If someone crosses your boundaries it is important to communicate this to the other person.

• Say no without guilt: Saying "no" is not selfish, it's an important aspect of self-care. It's okay to decline requests or invitations that do not align with your boundaries...... Learn to forgive yourself.

• Practice self-awareness: Pay attention to how you feel in different situations and with different people. This can help you identify when your boundaries are being crossed.

• Set consequences: If someone consistently violates your boundaries it's important that you have reflected on what might be the consequences to their actions.

• Celebrate your successes: Maintaining boundaries can be difficult, so it's important to celebrate when you successfully uphold them. This can help motivate you to continue prioritizing your well-being.