Truthfully......I don't think it's too off the mark to admit that until I hit my early 30's I was pretty much failing at life. I had no idea what I wanted to do, I had tried and failed (many times) at different career paths and as a result I was written off by most of my family and friends as just a bit of a disappointment.
Little did I know however that a 2 minute throw away conversation with a mate of mine would plant a seed in me that would carry me through 8 years of study into a vocation that I feel is truly aligned with who I am and what I think to be my purpose in life.
It still shocks me though....how far I've come and what I've managed to achieve. Some days I can give myself a pat on the back for the hard work I put in but other days I think that some how, all of this was a big fluke.
I wasn't the guy that would get consistent A's throughout his study.... That's not me sorry. You must have me mixed up with the guy opposite..... And that degree and Masters.... Obviously the teachers felt sorry for me so they gave me a pity pass.
And that my friends is IMPOSTER SYNDROME
To put it simply, imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony—you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud—like you don't belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck.
It doesn't matter how daft it sounds, however illogical it appears..... and even in the face of hard evidence we can't help but feeling a fake and a fraud.... It's rather annoying tbh.
Why? Why? Why? What makes us come to the conclusion that we're imposters?
At the heart of it it revolves around insecurity and self-doubt. We find it hard to judge our own abilities accurately. We make excuses for our success..... blame it on something else other than our own hard work..... It must be something out of our control..... And then comes the judgement because if we we'ren't responsible for our success then we must be the failure of it.
And the expectations we can put on ourselves are redic..... We would never dream of holding other people to such high standards but when it comes to us..... nothing but perfection will do..... and 9 times out of 10 we'll even sabotage our own success to continue with the narrative that we're just not good enough
So what do we do about it?
Luckily there's things we can do to help us overcome these feelings of insecurity and it starts with commitment. The truth is change is a process, it could be a long or short process but we need to commit to it.... A simple promise to ourselves that we're gonna work on us..... day by day - Bit by Bit
Next involves acceptance. We must genuinely accept to ourselves that our thinking that we are some sort of fraud could be wrong AND it all could just be in our head. Give it a try..... how does it feel?