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  • Rob Lawrence

We Become What We're Around

the title blog image saying we become what we're around

We've all met them: the one person who makes you feel worse about yourself after talking to them for even a short time.... I for sure have had these people in my life but a while ago I realized that we become who we surround ourselves with.

Think about it.... if you're surrounded by people that use, manipulate, abuse and drain you what sort of life do you expect to have?..... So the question is then..... Why would we choose to have these people in our lives?..... Their toxic

Let's talk about it

What Are The Benefits Of Being Around Non-Toxic People?

Those with whom you spend most hours have a significant impact on our moods, worldview, and aspirations. We're likely to acquire empowering attitudes and see life unfolding for us if positive people surround us.

In the same way that we thrive from being surrounded by positive and open-minded people, our careers and social life suffer when negative people surround us.

What is popularly known as codependency is perhaps the best example of a toxic relationship. Toxic codependent relationships degrade our sense of self-worth and safety while strengthening our need for others. In such relationships, one person obsessively looks after another's well-being (often at the expense of their own welfare).

image representing toxic relationships

You can have codependency with anyone, whether your friends with them or in a relationship with them. Here are the common telltale signs that you are in a toxic codependent relationship:

● You want to satisfy everyone, so saying "no" is hard.

● Your life is out of control, and you don't know what to do with yourself.

● you're preoccupied with the other person and feel guilt for them

● you're always one step ahead of your partner's needs and end up overextending yourself

● you put the needs of your partner ahead of your own

● you're in a relationship that feels strained.

● the need to be loved and accepted by the other party is all-consuming

● you try to make things seem better than they are

● You don't have faith in yourself, your instincts, or your judgment, so you rely on the other to make decisions for you.

Signs Of A Toxic Person

signs of a toxic relationship

If you suspect you're dealing with a toxic individual, keep an eye out for the following warning signs:

● You have the impression that you're being coerced into doing something you'd rather not.

● The person's actions have you confused regularly.

● When they've done something wrong, you expect an apology, but it never comes.

● You're constantly on the defensive against them.

● You're never entirely at ease in their presence.

● When you're around them, you have a hard time feeling good about yourself.

If you've felt this way about someone, it means that that person could be toxic. If you're experiencing these kinds of feelings all the time, it's time to reevaluate your relationship or end it altogether.

Reasons Why You Should End a Toxic Relationship

image of a man in a toxic protection suit

1. Ending the relationship is better than being in bad company.

Loneliness and living alone are not one and the same. Being in the wrong company may be more painful and difficult to bear than being alone. After the relationship has ended, you may reflect on what occurred and what warning signs you should have known. It can help you prepare for the next relationship..... allowing you to either fix it or consider leaving before it turns toxic again.


This is especially difficult when the toxic party is a family member such as a parent, sibling, or close relative. Even so, the fundamental ideas remain. A toxic person tends to stay toxic, so don't tolerate them. If they want to be unhappy, that is their problem. You have earned the right to be happy, even if it means avoiding them.

2. A Toxic Relationship Curtails Personal Growth

In a toxic relationship, one party always blames the other. If you are the party on the receiving end of constant browbeating, it stifles your personal growth. It makes you feel small and insignificant. This suppresses personal growth and makes you more likely to revert to older, less effective, and self-destructive stress-management techniques, such as substance abuse.

On the other hand, a healthy relationship promotes emotional and mental well-being as well as effective communication.

3. Toxic Relationships Commonly Eventually Evolve Into Violence.

Toxic relationships, particularly intimate ones, can quickly devolve into emotional, psychological, physical, or even sexual abuse. You owe it to your kids to model open, loving, and supportive relationships. Your children will follow your example, and if they see Mom and Dad constantly dismissing or smacking them, they will fall into the same trap as adults.

You have the right to stand up to your partner as an adult. But remember that if your partner is determined to physically or emotionally abuse you, they will most likely do the same to your children if they believe you lack the courage to stand up to them or leave.

last blog image with the blogger and his final thoughts

Toxic individuals defy logic.... Some people appear to derive happiness out of causing trouble and pushing the wrong buttons just for the sake of it.

I've had to get rid of life long friends and family members because they we're toxic and found joy in tearing me down and it's difficult you know..... Really difficult but if we want to live a full happy life it's really important we choose wisely who we have around us......I always say....Keep the good ones and let the bad ones drift away

As also, I hope you'd this.

If you could sprinkle this around it would help me a lot 😊

Until next time x


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               Why Listen To Me?
(The short answer is I don't know)

You know, if you had asked me a decade ago where life was taking me, I wouldn't have had a clue. Back then, I was right in the middle of a rough patch—a mental health breakdown that seemed to be wrecking every part of my life.

But hey, fast forward to now, as I'm edging into my early forties, things have done a complete 180. What used to be a mess of struggles has turned into a journey of finding peace, purpose, and meaning in my mental health recovery.

These days, you'll find me in Manchester, living and working, using the chaos of my past to help others untangle their minds. If that sounds like something you're into, well, maybe this blog could be just what you're looking for. Come along as I share stories, insights, and lessons learned on the rollercoaster ride from rock bottom to resilience.

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