Post-Traumatic Growth: Finding New Light after Trauma


I can’t remember exactly what I was like as a child but like most teenagers I thought the world revolved around me and that I knew it all…. How wrong I was! 


Being where I am now and having gone through what I have gone through I understand that the only way I have got to the place where I am now was to completely change what I thought I was, I knew and how I related to other people..... In essence to break myself so I could be reborn...... And I'm actually OK with that. 


Let me explain to you why falling to my lowest was the best thing that happened to me. 


You need to go through the dark to appreciate the light


troubles


As a child I took most things for granted. I lived in a very nice house, on a very nice street and I went to a very nice school. After leaving home and going into the big bad world, I thought I was the dogs bollocks and that I knew everything. It wasn’t until everything was taken from me that I learned how to appreciate just how lucky I was..... It could have been so so much worse. 


Empathy and compassion for others


empathy


Just like hatred I don't think people are born empathetic... I certainly wasn't. I learnt how to be genuinely empathetic and compassionate towards others because I developed a deep understanding on how life can be hard and cruel sometimes. This I could relate to and coming out the other end enabled me to  connect with people suffering on a deeper level (It's why I'm able to counsel people).


Priorities and values change 


priorities


If you had asked me as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have said a lawyer. As far as I was concerned I was the child that was supposed to go to university, get the degree, marry and have the 2.4 children. After coming out of the dark period in my life however I was changed both inside and out....... My priorities had changed, what I wanted for my future had changed and what I valued in life had also changed....... 


When I was younger I was all about the appearance and what I had materially. That was fine and if that's your thing you do you okay but after struggling for so long I know longer valued them things. I was more interested in experiences and connecting with people.

 

That's not to say I don't want success.... Far from it I just want success in a different way now.  


final thoughts


It’s important that we all understand suffering and pain is a part of life. All of us will experience it at some points in our life and that’s OK. The crucial thing however is how we deal with it and the lessons we learn.


"The is always a silver lining, we just need to be strong and learn the lessons"


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