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  • Rob Lawrence

I Hate The Way I Look

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I love being gay and I love the community but the importance we place on how we look is beyond me...... It’s an unfortunate reality that if you have a certain look you are entitled to certain privileges that most of us aren't and it's resulting in a lot of us struggling with the relationship we have with our bodies.

I don't think I'm alone in this either.... Straight or gay I think most of us are unhappy with certain aspects of how we look and the truth is if this sort of self-hatred was to go unchecked it could possibly lead to some pretty serious effects such as....

Eating Disorders: Having a negative body image is one of the main factors for developing disordered eating or an eating disorder, such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder: BDD is a mental health condition where a person obsessively worries about one or more perceived flaws in their appearance that are either unnoticeable or very slight to others. Body dysmorphia can affect a person’s self-esteem, mood, social life, and daily functioning. It can also lead to other problems, such as depression, substance misuse, or even suicidal thoughts.

Anxiety & Depression. We may experience levels of low self-esteem, shame, guilt, or sadness because of our negative body image. We may also feel anxious about how others perceive us or judge us based on our appearance.


What If Things Were Different?

Over the last few years, the body positivity movement has made it their mission to change the way we all look and feel about our bodies and although there's still a debate on the relationship between weight and health at its core it encourages self-love and self-acceptance. It talks about the many benefits of what finding peace and harmony with the way we look can bring such as.....

A Boost To Our Self-Esteem And Confidence: When we accept and appreciate our appearance, we feel more positive and comfortable about ourselves. We also feel less insecure or anxious about what others think of us.

It Enhances Our Relationships With Others: When we have a good relationship with how we look, we are more likely to attract and maintain healthy relationships with others.

A gif about having everything you want in life

It Protects Our Physical And Mental Health: When we have a good relationship with how we look, we are more likely to take care of our bodies by eating well, exercising regularly, sleeping enough, and avoiding harmful substances.

It Empowers Us To Make Positive Changes: When we have a good relationship with how we look, we are more motivated to improve ourselves in ways that are meaningful and realistic for us.


How To Flip The Script

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Changing the way we look at our bodies involves shifting our mindset from one that is focused solely on appearance to one that values and prioritizes overall health and well-being.

Here are some tips on how to change the relationship we have with our bodies:

Recognize That Your Body Is Unique And Valuable: Your body is not an object to be judged or compared to others. It is a part of who you are, and it deserves respect and appreciation. Your body allows you to experience life, express yourself, and connect with others. It has strengths and abilities that no one else has.

Surround Yourself With Supportive People And Environments: Seek out people who love you for who you are, not for how you look. People who respect your choices, encourage your goals, and appreciate your qualities. People who make you feel good about yourself and your body.

Practice Self-Care And Gratitude: Taking care of your body is one of the best ways to show it love. This means eating well, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, managing stress, and avoiding substances that harm your health.

Lose The Scale: Don’t let a number define your worth or happiness. Your weight can fluctuate for many reasons and it doesn’t reflect your health, beauty, or value as a person.

Cover Those Mirrors: Avoid checking your reflection too often or criticizing yourself in front of the mirror. This can fuel your obsession and lower your confidence. Try to focus on other aspects of yourself that are not related to your appearance.

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Use Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, instead of saying “I hate my thighs”, say “My thighs are strong and powerful”. Instead of saying “I’m ugly”, say “I’m beautiful inside and out”. Repeat these affirmations daily until you believe them.

Try The Rubber Band Trick: Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it gently whenever you catch yourself obsessing over your body image or having negative thoughts. This can help you break the cycle of rumination and redirect your attention to something else.


You deserve to love yourself and be happy with who you are. You are more than your appearance. Don’t let negative thoughts hold you back from living your best life.

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Remember that loving your body is not a destination, but a journey. It takes time, patience, and practice to change the way you see yourself and relate to your body.

But it's worth it because you deserve to feel good about yourself and your body in a world that doesn't.


I hope you enjoyed the blog and found it useful.

I would love to hear from you, so feel free to leave your comments, questions and feedback below 😊



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               Why Listen To Me?
(The short answer is I don't know)

You know, if you had asked me a decade ago where life was taking me, I wouldn't have had a clue. Back then, I was right in the middle of a rough patch—a mental health breakdown that seemed to be wrecking every part of my life.

But hey, fast forward to now, as I'm edging into my early forties, things have done a complete 180. What used to be a mess of struggles has turned into a journey of finding peace, purpose, and meaning in my mental health recovery.

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