What Would You Say To Your Younger Self?

I love Oprah, I can watch her for days, and today, after revisiting clips of her show on Youtube (again) I came to the one which focused on her "AHA" moments...... Moments in her life where she learnt a lesson that changed everything..... A lesson that if she could she'd go back and tell her younger self.

My fav has to be -

Be prepared for how long change might take and how hard it will be.

Miss Oprah got me thinking about my life and what I was like when I was younger. I was a lot different back then. In my teens I thought the world revolved around me and that I knew everything...... Boy how wrong was I because at the start of my twenties I descended into the darkest period of my life where I would stay for nearly a decade..... In those years I lost everything including who I thought I was.

Luckily, through some pretty hard work on my part, good people around me and a little sprirutal intervention I managed to come out the other end better that I went in. I had managed to use my pain as the foundation of my counselling training and graduated as fully qualified Therapist which now I truly believe to be my purpose in life ..... None of which I could have done without my struggles with mental health.

This is my dilemma though..... I've only managed to find my purpose because of the pain I went through and without it I wouldn't be here so what would I tell my younger self? Would I save myself from the pain knowing that I would end up here?

Well.....However complex that answer is, if I had to pick a side..... yes or no? I'd have to send myself down the same path again knowing full well the trauma I would face...... And I'm OK with that.

I've found peace with my pain and in a very strange way my struggles have been both a blessing and a curse.

What About You?

I didn't know if this idea was just me though so I asked you all the same question. "What would you tell your younger self?".... and you lot didn't disappoint.

Here's what you said -

• You're always going to be a bit different.... Be different, stay weird.

• Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings & emotions.

• Keep hustling.

• The key in life is giving less fucks. rid yourself of the opinions and influence of others, and you will be true to yourself. Only spend time and energy on the things that are most important to you.

• I know you're scared and ashamed of being gay, but yep, the other kids are right, you are.... But do you know what? That's OK because they are too so I promise it gets better.

• Just be yourself and don’t worry about what others think.

• Don't worry so much about things you can't change. In life, bad things will happen to you, but if you aren't responsible for them and can't change them, don't waste time on them.

• Nothing really, because if I'd known the things I know now, it would have robbed me of all the experiences I've had, even the hardest lessons and the worst mistakes I've made, which I think were necessary to learn and grow through.

• Be honest more, don't let people belittle you, recognize the true genuine mates. Don't change you not even for family. Live life as if it’s your last day. Notice there is kindness everywhere more,... don't let the experiences of assholes control you. Love , laugh more.

• Always listen to yourself.

• Save money!

• It’s OK to just be you..don’t try and fit in with others as the ones that want to be around you are your true friends.

• Don’t lose the child in you! The innocence is what made you

• We were all born one day - we were born without a voice and no choices to the way we were raised! The difference now is the people that we choose to be around or the choices we make.

• Start caring about yourself.

• God gave you your life because he knew you we're strong enough

• There is a lot of stuff I'd love to go and tell myself. Probably tell myself to'stick with it', as being a bit 'unique' ended up with me being who I am today.

• Don’t look back in anger

• You're not needing to be accepted of other people, what you're really wanting is acceptance from yourself.

• Exercise.... it's a game changer.

• It's not always you that's the problem.

• Focus on friendships, not relationships.

• Don't let others tell you how you should live your life. Even the ones closet to you because not all of them want the best for you

• Spend your money on experiences and not things.

• Don’t act in anger like you have but also never regret or wish to rewrite what you have done because you became stronger and found happiness.

• Charge more

You know what, I'd probably agree with most of these. It's nice to hear that people strive to be better versions of ourselves....... And it's nice to know I'm not alone cos we can't change the past and neither would I want too...... I've learnt some pretty life changing lessons in the last 40 years and if anything I've learnt to become that person that helps others..... That person I always needed around when I was struggling.

If you liked the post I'd love it if you sprinkled it around on your socials. Until next time x