“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” Warren Buffe
Helping others Is definetly what I was put here to do. If you wanted a reason why I'd probably tell you something about being a people pleaser, wanting to be liked and a childhood fear of rejection..... I'm totally OK with this aswell..... I Love being a counsellor, its the best thing I've ever done.
That being said, I have my limits..... We all do don't we?
And having limits has meant I've had to learn how to use that "NO" word..... That socially awkward NO we hate saying to people because we believe if we say it everyone will think we're some sort of selfish arse that only cares about themself.... Right???
True Or False?
Well..... If you want my honest opinion I'd say it all depended on how much you valued yourself and time. I know for sure that my life is pretty full up with YES's and Commitments I've already agreed to..... That means what time I do have is valuable.
Understanding this has helped me learn to be OK with saying NO to people?..... and to be honest, it's been a game changer.
Why Say No?
How many times have we said
"I'd love too"
"Not a problem"
When inside what we really want to say is "F$#k off ya cheeky C&$t..... "I can't imagine anything worse" ..... A litle extreme but you get my point 👌
I don't know about you but I don't see my friends and family anywhere near as much as I'd like so do I really have to spend my few days off doing things I won't enjoy? Mmmmmm,
"Nope"..... And you can judge me all you like..... I'm OK with that.
If you're still with me and want to learn how to start saying NO check down below. I've given you 3 top tips that will help you learn to be OK with using the N word.
I'm not gonna lie and say learning to say NO is easy..... It's not. We have to fight against everything we've been taught and learn to get over the akwardness, the nagative responses and what we think it says about us. ....doing these 3 things though will help push you in the right direction
1. Remember Why You're Saying NO
If you start to worry that you've made the wrong decision saying NO try to think off all the reasons why you said it. Think of what your gonna be able to do instead..... all that time you're gonna have to be able to do things you actually want to do.... spend time with the people you actually want to spend time with ..... There's no shame in wanting to enjoy life you know.
2. Help Out.... A little Bit.
So I get it.... This may sound like the exact opposite of saying NO but it's more about finding a compromise. If someone ask's you to do something which you don't wanna do why not offer an alternative..... Something that will help them out and that you don't mind doing... Best of both worlds.
3. Simply Realize That You Can’t Please Everyone.
The truth is you can't please everyone and you're not responsible for other peoples happiness.... If they take that much offence to you saying NO it says far more about them than it does about you.
Do you want the sort of people in your life that are only there cos you do stuff for them?..... #choices
It's super awkward saying NO to people I know......We all hate thinking we're disspointing others but this is about taking control of our lives and choosing happiness.
Keep it simple, choose wisely what you say NO to, say it with strength, say it with love and relax. What's the worst that could happen by saying NO?
..... If you liked this blog please sprinkle it around on your socials for me..... It would help me out a lot...... Don't worry though. You can say NO 🤔